Anyone who knows me, knows that I am seldom, if ever, late. And in the unlikely event that I am late, I’ve called ahead to let them know. After all, my time is no more valuable than anyone else's. The kicker - no matter how rich or poor or important or not one is, time can never be replaced.
I see a dermatologist every six months or so. Her name Lori and she's pretty good. Not to worry, I don't have flesh-eating disease or something bad - but rather an irritating foot condition (my feet are permanently hot) which I like to get checked out. Yesterday was the third time in about 18 months I have seen said doctor.
I recall the first time she was running 20 minutes late, the second time, 30 minutes late. Yesterday I showed up for my 10am appointment at 9:56am and was attended to at 10:54am, a full 54 minutes late. To say I was pissed would have been putting it mildly. (I am not an angry person. Repeat, I am not an angry person). So while I sat waiting and stewing I reflected on the concept of time management and respecting others' time . It's hardly unusual for doctors to run a little late - no-one can predict when an emergency will come up. I get that. On the other hand, I was seeing a dermatologist - not a cardiologist and I would think that dermatologists seldom deal with last minute emergencies or life-and-death situations - but hey, what do I know?
So, while I stewed, I pondered:
1. When the doctor would finally see me, would she apologize for her lateness
2. The reason for her tardiness would be ... "you-fill-in-the blanks"
3. Should I express my anger at my time having essentially being wasted
4. Most importantly ... do I have a right even to be angry?
So 10:54, the doctor finally sees me --- and yes she did apologize for her profound lateness, saying it was a result of computer issues?? Hmm ... anyway, I told her I was pretty angry (my time is valuable too, right?) - and she apologized again. I gracefully accepted same. Moved on. Was examined in 90 seconds flat and then left the doctor's office. No problem. My feet are fine.
But this got me thinking as to the root of my anger ... it's not that the doctor was running late, but rather that I was not contacted about it.
Dunno 'bout you, but if I am running even 5 minutes late for a client, I call or email to let them know. It's common courtesy. No secret either that whether you’re a PR guy or a doctor, being courteous is good for business. My dermatologist is also in business (I presume) - so why would she feel exempted from this courtesy? There are other dermatologists around, no?
When I shared this with my good friend Ernie, his response was "Well buddy, that's why it's called a waiting room. Live with it." My wife believes it is incumbent on me, the patient, to have called in advance to understand the doctor's schedule and ask whether she would be running on time. I disagree.
Have I gotten over my anger? Hell Yeah! Life's too short. Way too short!
But I'd be interested in your opinions. Comment in the space below s'il vous plait. And please, don’t be afraid to tell me that I over-reacted for no good reason - or that I am a crusty curmudgeon. Promise I won't be mad.
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11 comments:
I'm on your side. Find a new foot person and let her know. Maybe the next patient does not have to be so patient. - Mark Lasarow
I'm on your side. Find a new foot person and let her know. Maybe the next patient does not have to be so patient. - Mark Lasarow
John ... you are most definitely not being a "crusty curmudgeon" in my most humble view and opinion. In both "chapter and verse" you find support and full agreement from me ... however, knowing that other than communicating the issue to the Dr. (service provider)what can one do? Well, we can change service providers? A messy and cumbersome remedy, and unless you are dissatified with the "service" to the degree necessary to compel a change, you do as you did ... if repeatedly this tardiness were the case, then I'd change ... but then, you may be regularly changing service providers ... do we suffer in silence, other than making the point? Do we "make a point of it" with the service provider? Yes!
John, one more thought on this topic of "tardiness" and our reaction to it ... in the words of Simon Sinek: 'Only you can take responsibility for your happiness...but you can't do it alone. It's the great paradox of being human.'
John,
You have a right to be angry and/or frustrated. As a non physician who works in the health field I can tell you that I see several clients each day by appointment and it is often easy to keep clients on schedule, BUT there are days when things happen where it is just impossible to keep to a schedule- especially if you feel you have an ethical obligation that each urgent situation is dealt with in a manner than maintains a high standard of care. Yes, sometimes I can walk outside my door and inform clients who are waiting that their wait will be longer than expected but sometimes it just isn't possible- ie they are not waiting but they arrive right on time and you are too busy when they arrive to inform them. I am sometimes the person that is contacting the physician with a client/patient request or a question that delays them even further. At the end of the day it's probably a good idea to go by this rule of thumb. If every time you see your doctor you have to wait a half an hour or more it would be worthwhile to have a chat with your doctor about the wait. But if your doctor is able to keep to a schedule within reason it is also reasonable for you to expect that every once in a while you're just going to have to pull out your cell phone or pick up a magazine and get busy because you have no choice but to wait while your doctor does what he or she does best! Some clients respond well to being informed that I am running late so they know they can go back outside and return in a half hour or hour- but this also raises another issue- sometimes you don't know exactly how long you are going to be delayed.
Being a person on the opposite extreme...I keep people waiting frequently...I have no concept of time....And as much as I try I can't calculate by departures to match my arrivals. For me being late is a bad habit and being punctual doesn't come easy to me...
So back to seeing if you're a grouch...WELL...
Firstly you have to ask what are the routes of your anger?
Is it:
1-I have BETTER things to do...
2-Keeping me waiting is a form of implicitly INSULTING me...
3-If I have a standard of behaviour I EXPECT others to do keep the same
4-I lost my ability to CONTROL my environment...(I could have called, or arrive later, or changed by doctors etc..)
5-I did not receive the proper RESPECT I believe was due to me...
6-I was menstruating or I just have this unusual habit callued "punctuality" ..and .."I just can't explain it!"
7-Keeping me waiting was a SIGN from the Almighty...enabling me to reflect on myself, giving me a new subject for my blog, an exercise in courtesy management or keeping me away from some impending trouble...
Or maybe... I just have to realize that living in this world requires toleration of others' faults and consequently highlighting our own ones!
No, you are not being a crusty curmudgeon. I accept a 30 minute wait as "part of the deal", but if it goes over that amount of time I start getting annoyed. What annoys me most is that there is a sign in my doctor's office saying that if I am 15 minutes or more late for my appointment they have the right to reschedule me. Also, if I forget about the appointment or have a situation come up at the last minute and can't make the appointment they will charge me $50. But it's ok if I have to sit there and wait forever. Bah humbug!!
the higher up the pecking order you go, the more you can get away with. There was an interesting Soprano episode dealing with this very topic," Dr. does not care about appt's, etc. Tony assumes the alpha male profile and fixes the problem, "
If I was kept waiting for 54mins I would switch off my phone, lean back, close my eyes and relax - no nagging wife, screaming kids, ringing phones, demanding boss, for almost an hour - oh the bliss!
Hey, I could do with a bit of "me" time so send me the name of your late-running-dermatologist, perhaps I should get this rash checked out.
Happy holidays buddy
Jon
Jonny, as a previous health care entrepreneur in the field of Massage therapy, this would never have cut it. My clients were there to be relaxed and tardiness would have defeated the whole purpose. However, I did work with a chiropractor for many years and have noted that their "computer issues" were a strategic maneuver. The more "patients" booked, the more OHIP could be billed. Timing would be figured out along the way. I'm on your side buddy. The medical field could use a little more PR advice as there is competition out there and even if they are not concerned about that, it is simply human respect. Chesed.
I agree with you. I observed my boss calling his doctor one day before leaving for his own apptmt. He asked if he should come at his scheduled time, or if things were running late - and should he come later? He told me he always does that to save time away from his desk.
I thought, hmmm, good idea. So I tried the same thing on my next doctor's apptmt. Lo and behold the receptionist got very angry and nearly shouted, "Of course, YOU come at your SCHEDULED time!!"
Wow, right? My time is valuable, too. Phone calls can run both ways, right? Unexpected delays can be explained to those waiting in the waiting room, it is common courtesy.
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