Friday, February 22, 2013

Ummm - here's what's on my mind

There’s a few things on my mind this morning, that I want to get off my mind – and what better forum could I choose than my blog.  After all – it is my blog.  It’s also a non-intrusive medium that’s designed to be short, sweet and to-the-point.   

1.        Email’s the communications tool of choice these days – or so it seems.  I have no problem with that.  It’s fast, easy, and effective.  That said, I still get my fair share of phone calls – and I like that too.  However, in the past week I’ve gotten no less than 3 phone calls that began like this, “Umm – hi John … my name’s [fill in the blank].  You don’t know me, but I wanted to pick your brain for a few minutes.”   Now make no mistake, I love helping people.  Check – I go out of my way to help people – far out of my way and spend way too much time doing so.  But at least get to know me first (and pretend to be interested) before you ask to pick my brain.  It should also be said, that while I know I am smart – I’m not the smartest guy in the world – and therefore picking my brain may not be the best thing to pick.  But seriously, asking me to pick my brain without establishing some sort of connection with me is like asking me “Hey John, can I use you for a few minutes”.  Umm – that would be a negative – good buddy.

2.       Crap happens – so always be prepared for the unexpected.  One of my associates slipped on the ice yesterday outside his house.  Poor innocent guy broke his leg.  He was probably doing a good deed for someone, lost his footing and boom.  Broken leg.  Why him and not me, I ask.  Well, there’s no reason at all.  Perhaps he was unlucky, or simply was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Be that as it may, I think the lessons to be learned here are twofold.  No explanation needed.
a.       Be prepared for the unexpected
b.      Never take anything for granted

3.       It was my birthday the week before last.  And I think that one’s birthday is a good time (better than any) for a little bit of self-reflection.  Hadda party.  Had friends and family over.  It was a blast.  I am very grateful for everything that I have.  See 2b above. 

4.       I’m jewish and proud of it.  I learn a little – not that I am enlightened or anything high-falutin like that, but I think I know a little more than your average garden-variety of jew (so-to-speak).  Last night I learned that there are three (and only three) things in the Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law) that explicitly states that you cannot do backwards – the shema, hallel and the megillah.  Not to get overly technical or prophetic, but from that I learned that everything has an order for a reason – and while spontaneity can be (and very often is) good, it’s not a signal to do whatever the hell you want. 

5.       Listen.  Listen again.  And then listen again.  Let’s face it – we all sell all the time.  Whether I’m trying to convince my kids that taking the garbage out is a good idea of whether my life insurance guy is trying to sell me a new policy, it’s the same.  Listen before you speak.   That way, you’ll be better prepared to recommend an appropriate course of action or solution.  I promise – it works everytime.   Oh, and that’s also why G-d gave us two ears and one mouth.

6.       In other news, I’m psyched.  I am going to see Rodriguez in New York City.  Me and a bunch of buddies are going April 7.  He’s playing The Beacon Theatre – which coincidentally was where I saw Wham in 1983.  Remember them?
 
Spring’s coming.  We’re getting about 90 seconds more light every day and I’m happy.  Have a good day!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

It's my birthday - Monday 11 February, 2013

It’s my birthday this Monday.  (nudge nudge wink wink).   It’s February 11 which means that on this day in 1966, I was born in Johannesburg, South Africa.  Born at the Marymount Hospital and delivered by my grand-uncle (Herbie Kramer) – a practising gynaecologist who retired several years ago after having spent the better part of 40 years in the delivery room before the advent of all the technologies we have today. 
I spoke to Herbie a few years ago (He still lives in Johannesburg) who when I asked him about his job and what he loved most, swiftly responded, “I witnessed the most amazing miracles, daily”.  Wow!  What a career he must have had. 

I gotta say that I have a lot.  A wonderful wife of nearly 19 years.   A wide circle of friends.  Two well adjusted (if somewhat obnoxious) teenage kids – one boy, one girl. (Typical teenagers – in other words).  We also have 2 cats – and we all have our health.  We all get on with one another (most of the time) --- and well you know, as my wife said the other day --- “We’re Mister and Mrs. Joe Average” – and that’s a bad thing at all. 

So, now that it’s my birthday in 5 days, I just wanted to share what perhaps is a little wisdom (or maybe not) that’s worked for me. 
·        Appreciating what you have is not easy – but appreciating what you have while you have it is even more difficult – but infinitely more fulfilling.  Yeah, any monkey can say years after the fact, “Remember when” and/ or “Why didn’t  I make the most of it when I had it.”  That’s easy.  The trick is being grateful and showing it – while you have it and while you are enjoying it.  Last year I happened to spend three days in New York City (my favourite city) – and I made a note prior that I would appreciate it while I was there instead of appreciating it only on my return while I recounted stories to my family of what I did.  And you know what?  I actually enjoyed it more while I was enjoying it more.  This is a good thing!  Oh, and I lived in the moment too – another good thing. 

·        Know your limit and stay within it.  Clearly we all have different tolerances – and whether you’re talking pain, eating, drinking or physical endurance we all “max” out at a certain point.  The trick is knowing exactly at which point you max out and stopping before you do – well before you do.   For example, tipsy’s fine.  Beyond tipsy’s not fine.  Wasted’s stupid.    You get the picture!

·        Invest time and energy into your most important relationships.  I spend a lot of time working on relationships that are important to me.  Just ask my wife – she’ll tell you all first-hand about it.  Whether you’re looking to nurture a relationship with a co-worker or get closer to your kids – all very important relationships – it takes time --- and in most instances the time you devote to a relationship (any relationship) is directly proportional to the pleasure/ results that the relationship gives you.  Simple!

·        If you want to do something, you’ll find the time.  And if you don’t – you won’t.  Ever wonder why an old friend has not returned your calls in six months?  You’re thinking that perhaps they did not get the several messages you had left them – right?  Well – you’re wrong!  Or wondered about the person who promises repeatedly to do something and never does – saying they just didn’t have the time.  Bogus --- these people sure did have the time.  More accurately and honesty, they did not do it because they did not want to do it.  Again – simple!

·        Honesty and simplicity will always triumph over trickery and complexity.  Always.   We’re at that age now when the temptation to white-lie is increasing.  Just ask any of my friends who date online.  Horror stories abound.  There’s the morbidly obese guy who claims in his profile that he “has a few to lose” – Wrong buddy.  You have a few hundred to lose.  What about the woman who said she’s in her forties – but who’s actually 61 or the guy who lives in a basement but claims that he lives in a spacious and luxurious house.  Duh!  Say it like it is people. 

I think Marilyn Monroe said it best --- I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you.” 

That said, if you’ve got as spare sec or two on Monday February 11, hit me up and wish me a happy one – you’ll help make my day.