It's my birthday - Monday 11 February, 2013

It’s my birthday this Monday.  (nudge nudge wink wink).   It’s February 11 which means that on this day in 1966, I was born in Johannesburg, South Africa.  Born at the Marymount Hospital and delivered by my grand-uncle (Herbie Kramer) – a practising gynaecologist who retired several years ago after having spent the better part of 40 years in the delivery room before the advent of all the technologies we have today. 
I spoke to Herbie a few years ago (He still lives in Johannesburg) who when I asked him about his job and what he loved most, swiftly responded, “I witnessed the most amazing miracles, daily”.  Wow!  What a career he must have had. 

I gotta say that I have a lot.  A wonderful wife of nearly 19 years.   A wide circle of friends.  Two well adjusted (if somewhat obnoxious) teenage kids – one boy, one girl. (Typical teenagers – in other words).  We also have 2 cats – and we all have our health.  We all get on with one another (most of the time) --- and well you know, as my wife said the other day --- “We’re Mister and Mrs. Joe Average” – and that’s a bad thing at all. 

So, now that it’s my birthday in 5 days, I just wanted to share what perhaps is a little wisdom (or maybe not) that’s worked for me. 

·        Appreciating what you have is not easy – but appreciating what you have while you have it is even more difficult – but infinitely more fulfilling.  Yeah, any monkey can say years after the fact, “Remember when” and/ or “Why didn’t  I make the most of it when I had it.”  That’s easy.  The trick is being grateful and showing it – while you have it and while you are enjoying it.  Last year I happened to spend three days in New York City (my favourite city) – and I made a note prior that I would appreciate it while I was there instead of appreciating it only on my return while I recounted stories to my family of what I did.  And you know what?  I actually enjoyed it more while I was enjoying it more.  This is a good thing!  Oh, and I lived in the moment too – another good thing. 

·        Know your limit and stay within it.  Clearly we all have different tolerances – and whether you’re talking pain, eating, drinking or physical endurance we all “max” out at a certain point.  The trick is knowing exactly at which point you max out and stopping before you do – well before you do.   For example, tipsy’s fine.  Beyond tipsy’s not fine.  Wasted’s stupid.    You get the picture!

·        Invest time and energy into your most important relationships.  I spend a lot of time working on relationships that are important to me.  Just ask my wife – she’ll tell you all first-hand about it.  Whether you’re looking to nurture a relationship with a co-worker or get closer to your kids – all very important relationships – it takes time --- and in most instances the time you devote to a relationship (any relationship) is directly proportional to the pleasure/ results that the relationship gives you.  Simple!

·        If you want to do something, you’ll find the time.  And if you don’t – you won’t.  Ever wonder why an old friend has not returned your calls in six months?  You’re thinking that perhaps they did not get the several messages you had left them – right?  Well – you’re wrong!  Or wondered about the person who promises repeatedly to do something and never does – saying they just didn’t have the time.  Bogus --- these people sure did have the time.  More accurately and honesty, they did not do it because they did not want to do it.  Again – simple!

·        Honesty and simplicity will always triumph over trickery and complexity.  Always.   We’re at that age now when the temptation to white-lie is increasing.  Just ask any of my friends who date online.  Horror stories abound.  There’s the morbidly obese guy who claims in his profile that he “has a few to lose” – Wrong buddy.  You have a few hundred to lose.  What about the woman who said she’s in her forties – but who’s actually 61 or the guy who lives in a basement but claims that he lives in a spacious and luxurious house.  Duh!  Say it like it is people. 

I think Marilyn Monroe said it best --- “I want to grow old without facelifts... I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I've made. Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you'd never complete your life, would you? You'd never wholly know you.” 

That said, if you’ve got as spare sec or two on Monday February 11, hit me up and wish me a happy one – you’ll help make my day.