It's a new era - we're back to where we started

It's weighed on my head for the past few months - the kids leaving the house, that is.  Jason is now back in London, completing his fifth and final year of the Ivey Honors in Business Administration program.  Amanda, our youngest at Queen's University in Kingston - set for her first year in her concurrent education program.

We're back from Kingston now - fingers crossed she's settling in.  She resilient, I hope and expect.  A strong young lady, I hope and expect. At a great educational institution, I hope and expect.  In the prime of her life - I know.

But - it's not easy for me.  It's how my awesome wife and I were twenty-five years ago --- just the two of us.  Except, we're now 25 years older.  25 years more experienced.  And 25 years more in love with one another.  But - it's not easy for me.  I can see this transition is going to be a struggle.

They say the job of being a parent is never done.  Even when your kids live out the house - some 250 kilometers away.  They say the job of being a parent is never done.  Even when your kids get married. They say the job of being a parent is never done.  Even when your kids have kids of their own. 

And while I feel my job is far from done, I can't help feeling sad.  Sad that my kids are out the house.  But happy that they're doing great things with their lives, getting excellent educations and making what are hopefully meaningful life connections - without me.  And that's a good thing.  It's the way nature intended it to be.  You can't fight it.

When I kissed and hugged my daughter yesterday, I felt my eyes well up .  They became thick  and heavy.  I felt the bitter sting of tear as the salty drop worked its way down my warm cheek into the waiting kleenex.  Amanda saw me.  Karen saw me and the world saw me.  Even G-d saw me - and in that tearful and mixed-up moment, I realized I am the luckiest man in the world.

And who was it again - that said real men don't cry?

Things I learned in South Africa

I just returned from an amazing 2-week trip to the land of my birth – South Africa.  To sum it up in a single word – profound.  It was the first time I have returned since 1992.  There are many changes – some for the better, other’s not.

Since I am about ongoing improvement, there are several key learnings:

1.       Never forget your roots.   Makes no difference how much money you made along the way, how many houses you have, how much fame you acquire.  Remember where you came from – because if you forget, you’ll have no idea where you’re going.  And losing you way, is frightening on a good day, disastrous on any other.   

2.       Wake up early.  I noticed Africa starts early (perhaps it’s the early sunrise or the searing heat – makes no difference) but get up before the others do.  The first few hours of the day tend to be one’s most productive.  Just ask my friend Peter Shankman – he’s up at 4am – accomplishing stuff.   I see waking up early as an increasingly important part of my regime. 

3.       Quit wasting.  Fact: 60% of all food prepared in North America is not consumed. Whether it’s water, food, hydro, time or anything similar – use just what you need.  Show respect: don’t waste.  Much of what we waste is irreplaceable – pay attention to the environment.

4.       Keep things simple.  I work with people and money --- two of life’s most complex elements.  There’s a remarkably strong correlation between simplicity and happiness.  In Africa, things are far simpler than in North America and despite service issues in Africa, people are generally very happy.

5.      You don’t just have to blend in … aka celebrate and (more importantly) respect your differences.  I’m no politician, but there are few places I can think of that are more racially divided than South Africa.  As many races as there are in South Africa, each one seemingly respects each other’s traditions and customs and while I know there is racial tension – each race co-exists – and it kinda works.

In closing, happy 2019.