Getting kicked off a plane is no joke – or is it?

If you're one of some 23 million Americans traveling by air this Thanksgiving - read and heed this!

Ask Alec Baldwin, who was kicked off an American Airlines plane for refusing to turn off his phone – the result.  He stayed in LA longer than planned.  Not known for his overfriendly personality, Alec speaks his mind, both in life and on Twitter without worrying what people think.  think he’s a jerk, but hey, what do I know?

"Flight attendant on American reamed me out 4 playing WORDS W FRIENDS while we sat at the gate, not moving.  #nowonderamericaairisbankrupt," he tweeted after being removed.

Former MTV Networks President, Michael J. Wolfe, on the same flight tweeted, “On an AA flight at LAX. Alec Baldwin removed from the plane. We had to go back to the gate. Terrible that everyone had to wait."  Obviously, he did not find Alec’s antics amusing. Maybe funny (at the time) – but I (like Wolfe) would be pissed if I had to spend more time on a plane than necessary because some idiot refused to behave.

Next time you fly, check the airline’s contract of carriage, where you’ll find a list of violations that will get you off the plane – fast. Each varies slightly, but most have some sort of language prohibiting passengers from doing anything endangering the safety/ comfort of passengers or crew.    Problem? It’s all subject to interpretation by airline employees, which is why we see wild stories of passengers getting the boot. So what, specifically, is taboo?  

A crying kid

Loud passengers become aggressive - fast.  And spoiling the comfort of fellow flyers could get you kicked off a plane—even if you’re still in diapers. The crew of a JetBlue flight forced the family of a tantrum-throwing infant off the plane earlier this year. According to Caroline Morse, SmarterTravel editor, "The parents tried holding the screaming toddler down in her seat with the seat belt on, but the pilot and flight attendant decided to kick the family off the flight and leave without them. No question, passengers trapped nearby were grateful, but the family ended up paying more than $2,000 for a new flight and hotel room for the night".  Not sure how the airline handled it, but for sure its PR people would have danced carefully.

Fight

When a man walloped a fellow passenger on a United Airlines flight to Ghana in 2011, the pilot, like a parent driving a car with feuding kids, (been there, done that) promptly turned the plane around. But unlike most other parents, the pilot was so aggravated that he summoned a few fighter jets as backup. On landing a half hour later, the aggressive flyer was removed from his flight. The most incredible part is that the melee started when one passenger reclined his seat into the space of the guy behind him. Some travelers might even argue he deserved the smack.  Dunno – you be the judge!  I’m not going to get involved in this one.

Stink

You don’t have to wear a garish shirt saying “F*&k You” to offend --- just skipping the soap is more subtle, but just as egregious.  A few years ago, a flyer did that, and ended up – well being kicked off.  According to ABC News, when passengers on an Air Canada flight to Montreal complained about a foul-smelling flyer, the stinking man was told to leave the plane and clean up his act.   A fellow passenger told ABC News, "People were just mumbling and staring at him. The guy next to me said, 'It's brutal.'

Be wasted

Visibly wasted flyers are about as welcome on a plane as a rat is in the kitchen.  Pretty much all airline  carriage contracts contain clauses specifically stating this. For example, US Airways' contract, states the airline can refuse transport to passengers who "appear to be intoxicated or under the influence”.  

Seems like some bone-heads not only missed the memo, but lack brains too.  Singer John Rich (of Big & Rich), was removed from a Southwest flight for being too drunk, and an intoxicated Bahraini prince, lost his seat on British Airways. Clearly these airlines offer no special treatment for the rich and famous) .  Good!  And if you appear drunk but are really sober, you’re as idiotic as Rich – and your ticket could be in jeopardy. I read a story about a sober woman, kicked off a Southwest flight because a gate agent thought she was intoxicated. After being hoofed, she got a toxicology test.  Her blood alcohol level was less than 0.003. Nevertheless, she wasn't permitted to board that initial flight.

Seen any idiots on a plane lately?  Let me know – it could be worth a chuckle.