Sheesh - I am missing my kids

There’s a strange phenomenon that has invaded my wife (Karen) and I’s life for the past few summers. It starts the first week of July and ends towards the end of August. You guessed it right if you guessed summer camp. The phenomenon leaves as fast as it comes. It’s almost like Quidam. Anonymous. Fast. And fleeting. But even so, it’s not a pleasurable Quidam. (Karen would say otherwise – she quite likes the peace and quiet). I don’t like it. Not even a bit.

We have two kids. Jason is 14 and Amanda is 11. They’re just your average kids --- no better and no worse. Jason’s sometimes moody and belligerent, not unlike most other teenagers I know. We think he watches too much TV, plays on his PS3 too much and does too little work (homework and household chores). In other words, he’s your average teenager. Amanda is at that I’m-not-at-that-very-obnoxious-age yet. Give her a year or two, and she’ll be there for sure. We love them though and we're a happy little family.

Right now Karen and I can choose what to do in the evenings. We can eat at 6, 7, or 8 pm. We can go to the gym at anytime – and we can go to bed at anytime. There’s no nagging the kids either. You get the picture. It is a house of peace and quiet. There’s no revolving door of my kids’ friends coming in and out – and of course there’s no bickering and yammering to be heard (something my wife thinks they do too much of, even on a good day). And as peaceful as things are, I still find myself missing the kids – very badly.





How do I know that? It’s very simple!

1. I look several times a day at their camps’ websites where staffers post pictures of the campers. Some days I’ll see a couple of each, while other days, nothing. The instant I see a picture of my kid’s smiling faces is when I feel that warm and gushy feeling. Ohhhh – it feels sooo good. On the other hand, me seeing nothing can go on for a couple days until the pictures are updated. This is like torture for me. I find myself getting cranky.

2. First thing I do when I get home is to go to the mailbox. Is there a letter from Jason and/ or Amanda? Smile if there is and grimace if there isn’t. For the record, Jason’s been gone 13 days – have not heard from him once. Amanda’s been gone 10 – she’s written once. Clearly I’ve been grimacing more than smiling.

3. If you know me well, you’ll know that I have a presence. I make noise. I laugh. I see. And I’m seen. While I’m hardly the life and soul of the party – people know when I come and when I leave. I like that. And I like it when I can feel the presence of others. I’ve been feeling Jason’s presence for fourteen years now and Amanda’s for eleven. Suddenly to not feel their presence’s is just plain weird – I don’t like it.

4. Next weekend is Visitor’s Day at Jason’s camp. I can’t wait. It will be awesome to see him and hang. Let’s hope we will/ can hang together. Unfortunately, most 14 year old boys don’t want to hang with Mom and Dad, thinking they’re “un-cool”. Truth is that Karen and I are among the coolest, hippest parents that there are. Jason’s very lucky – doesn’t know it. Hope he realizes it one day!

5. I never noticed , but Karen mentioned it a day or so ago. She often hears me saying, “I’m missing you Jason and Amanda” --- it’s like I say it sub-consciously – without even realizing it. Seriously though, I miss my kids in the hugest way. I miss their presences. I miss the (sometimes inane)questions they ask. I even miss their bickering. I promise.

You know, four years ago, a close friend of mine and his then-wife suddenly and tragically lost their 5-year old little boy. It was devastating. It’s a horrific story of epic proportion. The very thought of it is bringing tears to my eyes right now for the ump-teenth time. And I am so grateful that I’ll soon see my kids again. It’s something that I so wish my friend, and their community at-large could say too.

As Peter Shankman would say – “Blue Skies”.