The Wallenda Lunacy

You know, there’s something that’s been bugging me the past few days. I think we all get that way from time to time. And only just a few minutes ago, I managed to put my finger on it and identify the source of my buggery (if there is such a word). It’s the Nik Wallenda walk across the Niagara Falls last weekend. It’s really everything about the walk that irritates me to the hilt. It’s freaking ridiculous this whole thing.

Now, there’s no question that Nik is not only extremely disciplined, but he’s also courageous. No, make it that he is balls-of-steel courageous. It really is incredible that he did what he did. He has tremendous skill, (as if tight rope walking is in great demand.) Congrats Nik!

Like, does anyone know any companies looking to hire a tight rope walker? I don’t think so! If you do, let me know, won’t you?
I digress. Let’s get back to why I am so irritated

1. Wallenda estimated his history-making, walk by way of a cable strung over the brink will cost about $1.2 to $1.3 million. That includes fabrication and installation of the custom-made steel wire, permits and security on both sides of the border, travel and marketing.

Sheesh --- you’re blowing this obscene amount of money on a 550 feet walk while more than 60% of the world’s population starves. Are you freakin’ nuts? Furthermore, as of press time, I believe that Wallenda has no idea who will pay this bill. Taxpayers? The rich? The poor? Hell if I know!

2. “We need stuff like this,” Wallenda says. “We need things to encourage people that the impossible is actually possible.”

Again Nik --- hate to bust your balloon. While you are very talented and brave, encouraging the world that the impossible is possible by making a walk across the Falls, is akin to encouraging a crack addict to set a world record for crack-snorting. We really really do not need stuff like this to encourage an-already sick world that it can be even more sicker.

3. But not everyone was impressed … “It was slow and boring,” said Kim Deenie of Niagara Falls. It wasn’t exciting because he wore the harness. Daredevils are supposed to do things that risk their lives.”
Yeah right Kim, let’s take the harness off why don’t we. And let’s watch this very talented idiot (a husband and father of two kids) fall to his death if he falls --- that sounds like a fun Friday night doesn’t it?

4. Just prior to the event, Dino DiCienzo, president of Canadian Niagara Hotels said there were a few rooms left at the Sheraton Crowne Plaza and Skyline Inn hotels operated by the company. “Definitely, we’ll be sold out’” he said, adding the average price for a room is 15-20% more than a typical Friday this time of year.

Money’s money Dino. And I appreciate that you gotta make money – in fact, there’s nothing wrong with making money. However, raising prices for such a silly event, really is not cool. Niagara Falls is expensive enough to begin with (trust me, I was there a few weeks ago – and paying $22 for one hour of parking, even makes Toronto look cheap).

I think John Law, a reporter with the Niagara Falls Review said it best … “If this thing was any more drawn out, we’d be doing stories on his shoelaces. We were starting to see the guy in our sleep — Wallendreams"

If you think I'm being a crusty old curmudgeon, just let me know.