What I learned from my time in New York City

Since I was 17, I've had a love affair with a city -  New York City.  I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's the truth.  I return there fairly frequently and seemingly it's often enough but not too often.  The  city's never lost it's magic.  It's a great place!

I sojourned there last week --- lived large for a few days.  I'll spare the detail of the who, what, when, where and why - but here's a few things I learned:

1.  Make time for the people that mean something:  I've lots of friends in the city and as busy as I was, I made time for them all ... I was so glad to see Lisa, Gabi, Hilary, Hilton, Darren and their friends.  Yeah, I could have not told them I'd be in their city, but hey, people can make a city too.  We hung out - had fun and re-connected

2.  The love you make is equal to the love you take, or said another way - share the love - Tough to understand sometimes, but true everytime.   Again, will spare the deets.

3.  Know what's on your bucket list - and do something about it.  Crossing the Brooklyn Bridge on foot has been on my list for well - like 25 years --- I did it this time.  It is a magnificent structure connecting Brooklyn and Manhattan.  Majestic.  Takes like 30 minutes from shore to shore.  Well worth it and makes you appreciate architecture.   Completed in 1883 - yes, 1883, it's s a testament to mankind's genius.   Bet they didn't have today's technology then.

4.  Party hard.  Yup ... true every time and one of my maxims.  Hilton, Darren, Raphael and Alex ---- you know how to do that - damn well.  Never stop.  Keeps us all young.  Keeps us all thinking.

5.  Don't oversleep.  This is a biggie.  I know many people who insist on getting 9 hours of it a night, claiming they "need" it.  Disagree.  Try 7-8 - you'll be fine.  Yes, I know that sleep is important, but there's lots to do and accomplish irrespective of where you liver.  Go get 'em.

6.  Never forget your roots.  Walked past a record store by chance.  It's at 130 First Ave at 7th Street.  It's a throwback to the 70's and 80's.  Reminded me so much of my roots.  We met its owner, "Birdman" - (nickname that because he only eats chicken and turkey) - what a fascinating history he has.  He's closing this New York City landmark in the fall.  Don't miss a trip there - incredible.

7.  Be humble.  No more need be said.

Peace, love and understanding.

I guess I matter ...

Just a couple of weeks ago, I found myself with a half-hour to spare on a dreary Friday afternoon before a scheduled 3 pm meeting.  It was in Yorkville, my least most-favorite part of the city.  Instead of grabbing my ump-teenth java of the day, I thought!  About the old days, 25 years ago --- I have no idea why.

You see, when I arrived in Canada in 1988, I wholesaled CD’s to music stores.  Remember CDs?  Remember music stores?  Sadly there are precious few of either around today! 

Back then, my favorite customer was Harmik Gregorian, owner of Atelier Gregorian.  I called on him weekly in his store on Yorkville Avenue.  He bought my CDs.  A good guy.  He too was a recent immigrant to Canada.  From Armenia.  Both him and I were toughing it out as new immigrants.  We used to grab a coffee.  Commiserate.  Compare notes.  Exchange hints and tips.  And yeah, we used to grumble about our hardships.  Him retailing.  Me wholesaling.  Paid me on time.  I liked him … I’m probably ten years his junior, maybe 15.  As I said – good guy.

Surely in today’s era of disposable everything and everything online, his store would have closed years ago.  Like who buys CD’s now anyway?

So, with 30 minutes on hand, and less than 500 meters from Atelier Gregorian, I thought I’d walk by his store and pay respect to days gone by – surely his store would have been gone.    Some three minutes later, I found myself at the store’s door. 

I ventured in, sniffed the air and smelled the familiar smell of new CD’s.  I heard the refrains of a Beethoven Piano Concerto playing.  I knew that not only is Atelier Gregorian still standing, but it’s thriving.  But I digress. 

Not even three feet in the store, I looked up, and there was Harmik, looking straight at me.  “John Sacke, where the hell have you been,” he said, in his syrupy heavily- accented Armenian patter.  “Wow! – You remember me Harmik?”, I replied. I was disbelieving

He took a step back.  I did a double-take.  “How could I forget you, John Sacke.   You were a kid then and I knew you’d go far.  I liked your attitude.  How are you doing?”  His eyes welled up.  So did mine.  

We talked for the full 30 minutes until I had to go.  Time has passed.  Our friendship remains.  Harmik still runs his store.  From the looks of things, it’s still making money.  He’s grey now, but weathered the past 25 years well.

I’m glad for Harmik and he’s glad for me.  Isn't that what life’s about? 

Israel - My Finest Summer Ever!

This was undoubtedly one of the finest summers I’ve ever had.  The reasons?

 

1.       A great degree of seeing others with a sense of purpose.   Without doubt, seeing others with such purpose has done wonders for me too

2.      Experiencing diverse sights, sounds and sensations

3.      Enjoying the benefits of my (and my family’s accomplishments)

 

My wife, two teenaged kids and I, have just returned from a ten day trip to Israel, where we saw people with purposes, experienced diverse sights, sounds and sensations and basked in our accomplishments

We live comfortable lives in North America.  Yeah, we think things are hard.  The traffic sucks.  We work hard.  We complain a lot.  Our kids complain even more.  Nothing is perfect.  In reality we don’t fight for a lot.  In fact, we fight for very little.  Yeah, we understand the differences between victory and defeat – and that’s about it. As pro-Israel and Zionistic as I am, (I don’t want to turn this into a political discussion), the Israelis live with a great sense of purpose.  And I love that. 

I’m sure they complain.  The traffic is bad there too.  The weather was uncomfortably hot (between 33 and 40 degrees daily).  The cost of living is high – the cost of death even higher.  Much higher.  And the many Israelis I met, have fought, do fight and will continue to do so, for every inch of land they have.  It’s an unrelenting fight and one that will never end.  Right or wrong – they live the differences between victory and defeat.  They’re never comfortable, no-less complacent in their daily struggles for land – and I like that mentality.   

My take home for my (sometimes obnoxious) teenage kids: Never take what you have for granted and ensure that you have a clear purpose for doing what you do – no rolling with the punches, no whistling in the wind, but rather understand what and why you are doing what you do - and then --- go and do it better than anyone else.  Simple!

Israel’s a land of great diversity.  Given its smallness in size, it truly does have it all.  From the very secular to the ultra-orthodox, from the lush hills of Haifa to the searing desert in the Negev and from a street falafel to fine-dining restaurants, the land’s diversity is amazing.  We saw sights, heard sounds and experienced sensations that were unique.  The market in Jerusalem minutes before Shabbat (the Sabbath).  The fresh water springs in Ein Gedi.  The Dead Sea.  The ancient city of Caesarea.  The Western Wall (Kotel).  The beaches of Tel Aviv.  The beauty of Tiberias.  Rifle shooting in the Golan.  The Army base.  Kayaking on the Jordan River.  The awesome (and I truly mean that) people on our tour, including our guide Yahaloma Yigael (aka Diamond) and Benny (our driver).  Wow!!!   

My take home for my (sometimes obnoxious) teenage kids: Do differently.  Embrace diversity.  Listen to the opinions of others.  Never judge.  Do what you do with respect for yourself and love others.  Something’s you do on a trip, you’ll love.  Others – well not so much --- do it all – anyway! (and to be fair, my kids were great on the trip).

It’s no secret that I work hard and long hours.  Always have.  Always will.  It’s also no secret that I play hard. But working hard and playing hard is meaningless, unless you can sit back from time to time and enjoy your accomplishments – because it’s accomplishments that make you happy (at least, that’s what I believe).  And the Sacke family has accomplished a huge amount in an era that’s literally seen the demise of the family.  I have my wife.  We’re a well-adjusted family unit.  We have our health.  We love each other.  We have an income.  We have friends.   In other words – far as I’m concerned – we have it all.

My take home for my (sometimes obnoxious) teenage kids:  Focus on the big stuff, but never lose sight of the small stuff either.  You can’t accomplish the big stuff without first getting the small stuff done.  Live life on life’s terms, not yours.  No-one owes you anything.  Enjoy your successes and do things that create good karma.  Pick your battles – some are not worthwhile and rise above.

And in other news, I celebrated 25 happy years in Canada on July 1, 2013 and nineteen years of wedded happiness on August 7 .

Peace!

I've Lost 31 Pounds - Now What?

I’ve never thought of myself as being fat, or even “heavy” – so when I weighed myself on December 31 last year, hitting a hefty 204 pounds, I thought a little.  I’m not a huge guy.  I’m just a hair short of five foot nine.  I’d climb ten stairs and be, well – kinda breathless.  Not good!  I’d lumber around the gym from time to time, workout and then come home to a beer and a heaping plate of high-carb pasta.  You get the picture – going nowhere backwards – and in fact – just increasing the daily bloat.

I just felt the urge to lose weight, setting myself a somewhat arbitrary goal of losing 30 pounds by July 1, figuring in 6 months, 30 pounds would be reasonable.  Not easy, but reasonable – and maybe even doable.  Maybe!

If you know me well, you’ll know that I am an all-or-nothing kind of guy.  I play to win – not come second.  My methodology?  Simple!  Eliminate all pizza, pasta, rice, bread and potatoes.  Yes, I cut it out completely.  And work out for at least 60 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week.  It’s not an easy commitment.

Six months and 16 days later -    I’ve lost 31 pounds and skipped a total of 9 days this year in working out.  Yup – of the 196 days of 2013, I have been in the gym 187 days – no kidding.

I don’t deserve medals, accolades or even admiration, but nevertheless, I am damn proud and along the way learned … not only about myself, but about others – and that’s what’s most important to me.

• Don’t like squats?  All the more reason to do them!  Hate lunges?  Then do 30 minutes of them - everyday.  There’s only one way to reduce hating a certain exercise – and that’s to do it.  The reason why you hate a specific exercise?  That’s because you suck at it – and the only way to not suck at it is to practice
• Engage with your trainers.  Training people can be lonely.  People show up at your class and grumble. Then they do your class and grumble a little more.  And then they go home.  They don’t share their trials and tribulations either – and trainers don’t like that.  They want to know when they’re too hard or too soft on you. They want to know they’re delivering results and they want to know when a particular class was either very good or bad.  So tell them.  Get to know them.  Tell them you enjoy their classes (or not) – but engage.  It’s good for their morale – and most of all, it’s good for your morale
• Working out seven days a week doesn’t mean a hill-o-beans if you come home and demolish three beers and a pound of potato chips for dinner.  Matter-of-fact --- do that and you’re going backwards.  It’s been said that losing weight is 70% eating and 30% fitness – don’t forget it.  Repeat - losing weight is 70% eating and 30% fitness

So, I’m 31 pounds lighter now – can do a hard 60 minute boot camp with people half-my- age and enjoying life more than ever – and I think that’s a good thing.  

Carpe Diem! 

Ahem - would love to know what my readers have done lately - let me know

It's my anniversary in Canada - a Memoir

Today’s important for me.  And since it’s July 1, it’s an important day for Canada too.  It’s Canada’s 146th birthday and it also marks exactly 25 years to the day that I arrived on Canadian soil for the first time and became a landed immigrant.

I was 22 when I arrived here.  I was fresh-faced, naïve and full of energy.  I’d created a decent life for myself in South Africa, had a girlfriend – left her behind.  Came to Canada – with very little other than an incredible work ethic and my Dad, who’d left South Africa a year or two before me.

Today, while I am still full of energy, I’m not that naïve – and well – my face – I’ve got a touch of grey here and there.  I have my health and a gorgeous family.  I have a lot.

Make no mistake, it has not been easy – nothing worthwhile ever is, is what I tell my kids – pretty much daily – but it’s been ever so gratifying.

I arrived at Pearson Airport on July 1, 1988.  The guys at customs were eating some Pizza from a company called “967-1111” – and were astounded when I asked what “967-1111” was? (This was in the days before 10 digit local dialing even existed).  That I had no idea was a sure tell I was new to Toronto.

Well, I settled in to life in Toronto.  I got a summer job at Sam The Record Man (remember him?) and started moving and shaking – so to speak. I was making $5.75 an hour – I’ll spare the details.

My defining moment of 1988 summer was seeing the Amnesty Concert at Maple Leaf Gardens.  I had no money to buy a ticket ($60 for a ticket in the nose-bleed section), so I scammed my way in.   Five music icons took the stage – The Boss, Sting, Tracy Chapman, Youssou N’Dour and Peter Gabriel.  I felt the warm and salty sting of my tears run down my flushed cheeks during Biko and Chimes of Freedom – 2 anti-apartheid songs – made even more poignant now as Nelson Mandela clings to precious live in Johannesburg.   I only wish him and the Rainbow nation well.

In November 1991, I met Karen Pinchuk, the woman I would ultimately marry in 1994.  Almost 19 years later – we’re going strong.

We’ve two kids – Jason (almost 16) and Amanda (12) – two cats, two cars and a white picket fence … it’s all good. 

It’s a time for reflection now – and 25 years to the day later, here’s four quickies as to what I’ve learned:

• Don’t expect anything to be easy – and the extension to that is the harder it is to accomplish something, the more worthwhile it is
• Learn to laugh at yourself, ‘cause you will screw up
• Embrace the weather – Canadian weather is generally nothing to love, especially coming from South Africa’s warm and balmy climate.  That said, quit the belly-aching about our cold winters.  If you hate them that much, then go someplace else --- no-one is forcing you to be here
• Live in the present and the future – never the past.  This one’s a biggie.  Can’t tell you how many times I have hears fellow South Africans commiserate about “Remember when …”  Those days have come and gone babe!

You know, it’s strange.  I lived in Johannesburg for 22 years.  It gave me the best of everything – an awesome country, but I never felt I belonged.  It saddens me – and to a degree is worrying.  On the other hand, I feel I belong here – in Canada – some days that worries me – most days it doesn’t.  But one thing for sure – I never take my love of Canada for granted – and appreciate this wonderful country – not on some days, or even every other day – but every single day.

And you know what I am going to do right now?  Kick back – pour myself a nice cold beer, enjoy the company of family and friends, sing Oh Canada a few times and salute the country that’s been my happy home for the past quarter century.

Respect - You Have To Show Some To Get Some

Note:  Every word in this story is true.  I have neither omitted nor embellished any content to suit an agenda.  I have removed the doctor's name in that as much as I want to address the issues of respect and professionalism, I don't want to harm his practice.  In doing so, I sought legal counsel who advised that provided the content below is true (and it is), there would be no legal recourse said doctor would have against the author   Since the story below may constitute Lashon Hora, I would rather err on the side of caution and refrain from mentioning said doctor's name.

I’m in the service business.  I expect good service and I have been told over-and-over again through the years that I give good service to my clients.  I’m a pretty-easy-to-please person, satisfied most of the time.  Simple.

I also value time – mine and others.  A lot.  No matter how rich or famous you are, time is irreplaceable.  When I make a commitment to do something at a certain time, I keep my commitment.   And when others make a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it or let me know in advance that they can'T.   

Yeah, I’m human – and the once or twice a year I run late for a meeting, I call in advance to let said meeting know I’m running a little late.  And when I show up, I apologize profusely.  That’s basic manners, and I don’t think anyone would refute that.

I'm wrong.  One person that I know would refute that – Dr. John Doe, a Toronto dermatologist.  

I’d booked a 9:10 am appointment, purposely – less likely of the doc being backed up early in the day.  Twice his office called me prior to confirm and twice I said yes.  I arrived at 8:52am – his waiting room was packed – perhaps 20 other patients.  I “checked in” and was told by a harried assistant to take a seat.    At 9:47, I got shown into “Consulting Room 9”, a room marginally larger than your average broom closet.  I stand corrected, but I think there were a total of 12 consulting rooms --- and I’m thinking why on earth a doctor would need 12 rooms unless he double, triple and god-knows-what books patients simultaneously.

Now, I am all for capitalism - and I have no issue in anyone making boatloads of money the right way.  I'm suspicious though.

1.  Why would a doctor need 12 consulting rooms in addition to a waiting room
2.  Why would there be some 20 people waiting at 9 in the morning
3.  Why would my appointment have been at 9:10am - it's an odd time

You judge! - back to the story.

It’s now 10:03am, and in runs Dr. Doe.  He’s rushed.  He’s even more harried than his assistant.  A handshake.  A four second look at my hand.  A smile.  A fast diagnosis that indeed the “small wart” I thought I had on my hand is not that.  It’s something else – he spoke so fast, I could not catch what he said.

“Here’s a script”, he says as he pounds away at his iPad furiously  “It’s at the reception on your way out.”  And with that he’s on his way out of the room.

Huh?

Personality – Zero.

Bedside manner – Zero.

Wow?

“Dr Doe,” I said.  “I appreciate that we all run late from time to time.  I get that.  Running almost an hour late first thing in the morning without so much as a call in advance or an apology is disrespectful, don’t you think?”

“Yeah – well that’s how it is”, was his flippant response.  “Your prescription is at the front desk, and if you don’t want to see me again, I will happily refer you elsewhere.”

And so ends the story.  And every word of it is dead true.

It’s been years, no, decades since I’ve been treated by another human being with so little respect for others.

Dr Doe, think I’m going to come back to you?  Dream on!  Ever heard of time management?  Ever heard of manners? Well, they’re both alive, well – and um --- kicking.  

Cofficers - A New Breed in a New Economy

Vicky Weiss, a Toronto blogger and social media pro spends five days a week, in coffee shops – different ones – working.  She’s a cofficer, a new breed of freelancer, who has traditionally worked from home  but now finds herself bored, lonely and demotivated when working solo in mid-town Toronto. 

“I get distracted too easily when I work from home,” says Vicky.  “There’s lots of stuff to do that weighs on my mind when I’m there – and besides, I’m a people’s person – so working solo just does not cut it.” 

Vicky works from different coffee shops – some within walking distance of her home, others a short drive.  And if parking isn’t fee – she keeps away.   It’s not the commute to the office every day that bothers Vicky at all – in fact the change in routine is welcome.   Rather Vicky is concerned about getting reliable internet, a comfortable chair and table, and the perfect coffee wherever she happens to be – all life-bloods of her small social media business.

“It does happen from time-to-time that the store I happen to choose on any given day is experiencing internet connectivity issues – and well – that really sucks,” says Vicky.  “Without it, I can do nothing – but fortunately, the technology has developed such that it’s pretty reliable in North America now – so it’s almost never down these days.”

The coffee shops like it a lot too.   On a recent trip to a Peet’s Coffee Shop in Manhattan, I noted several people who appeared to be working on their computers.  When I returned four hours later, those same several people were there – still working.  Some were using Skype.  Others email, while others seemed to be conducting face-to-face business meetings, all over what seemed to me like countless cups of steaming java.

Closer to home, The Mad Bean Coffee House on Eglinton Avenue, hosts numerous cofficers daily in addition to mommies with toddlers and dating couples.   It’s a mixed-crowd.

“We’ve tried to create an ambience that is as conducive to working as it is for socializing,” said Brian Roxborough, the store’s owner.  The Mad Bean has about a dozen cofficers, most of who spend between 3 and 7 hours every day seated at one of the cafe’s tables – working.  And Brian doesn’t mind at all.  “Cofficers are welcome here.   We have made it inviting.  There are lots of power outlets too.  Cofficers tend to be quiet, focus on their work, and don’t say too much.  They also order several coffees a day, and eat as well – and even if they didn’t – they’re welcome.”

The Mad Bean Coffee House

Brian’s store has an aura of tranquility.  There is soft music playing.  The ambience is alluring – almost sensual.   Also, it’s not frenzied and frighteningly hot, like some of the other coffee shops I’ve visited which quite frankly, I’d have a hard time concentrating in. 

But not all coffee shops share Brian’s sentiment.   Peter Dore-Smith owns Kaffeine, a coffee shop in London, England.  The shop does not offer wi-fi at all (even for a fee) – and is no more than 60 feet away from a coffee shop that does.

“We founded Kaffeine on the notion that we be about socializing, not sitting in deathly silence glued to a computer.  We are not an internet café – we are a great coffee shop – and will always be just that – a place where you can get great coffee and sandwiches.

Kaffeine’s not a big store.  Despite the fact it’s only 400 square feet large, more than 3,000 people a week visit it – no-one using internet.  According to Smith, he likes patrons to stay less than 45 minutes in the store.   And most do.  As hospitable as he is, short stays are better than long ones.

Rasool Verjee is a global entrepreneur that commutes between London, Paris and his native Nairobi – spending equal time in each city.  His office is the local coffee shop – wherever in the world that may be.  Rasool loves the variety and the diverse clientele each store attracts.  He likes the high-end stores in Nairobi, often spending between eight and twelve hours a day in each store where he has several cups of coffee (straight black – mild please) and at least two – and sometimes – three meals. 

“It’s an adventure for me,” says  Rasool.  “I like going to the mom-and-pop type coffeeshops over the chain stores.  The internet always works and they tend to make excellent coffee – better than the chains in fact.” 

Reliable internet is not an issue for Rasool,  however, like Vicky, sometimes finding enough outlets can be a pain-in-the-derriere.  Rasool says that it’s often not easy to power up his iPad and Blackberry, given the scarcity of electrical outlets and the many people needing power to keep their devices juiced.  He predicts this to worsen as more and more people like him work from coffee shops, requiring their myriad electronic devices to be powered in today’s always-connected economy.

Meanwhile, it’s all business for Vicky and Rasool.  Vicky’s making her way to a client meeting – this time at her client’s office.  And as for Rasool, he plans on spending the day at one of his favorite coffee boites in Toronto – a place called Jet Fuel that according to Rasool makes a wicked coffee.