Jason Goes To University - A New Chapter

The last couple of weeks have been a little emotional. I get that way before each summer end.  The fall is a time to reset – the mind, the body and the psyche.  Despite the heat in Toronto (and trust me, I’m not complaining), the summer’s end signifies a chapter’s end.  And the chapter just ended is a huge one for me.

Our son, Jason (almost 18) is off to university in London, Ontario where he’ll be staying for the next 4-6 years.  In other words, although he’ll be back for summers and holidays, I cannot count him as a full time resident in our home.  And for me – this is huge!

As I was saying to my wife, (Karen) who’s far less emotional than me – it’s a time to realize that for the past almost-eighteen years, he’s been for the most part accountable to us.  From tomorrow, he for the most part is no longer accountable to us.  He’s accountable to himself. 

Now – to be clear – this is what growing up is. It’s about being responsible for one’s self and accountable too.  And I just hope that Jason has been well groomed, schooled and trained for this very exciting chapter.

Jason’s a great kid.  He looks after himself.  He’s on time for everything.  He knows the value of a buck.  He treats people like he expects to be treated.   He’s got tremendous qualities.  Not only has he learned a lot from Karen and I, but he’s also been fortunate to have benefited from the wisdom of great grandparents, uncles and aunts as well as nieces and nephews.  Jason’s been raised in a harmonious home as well, with abundances of everything.  In other words Jason’s had a great childhood and has tremendous potential.  Now he has to harness the opportunity ahead - and I have every belief he will. 

I penned Jason a letter today that he will read tomorrow after he’s settled in.  Without getting into too much detail, it laid out expectations and was also laced with some man-to-man advice that only a father could give to a son.

So, it’s a sombre time for me – now that Jason’s smiling face will no longer be around every night.  I can’t slap him on the back and shoot the breeze face-to-face (as we’ve done for so long).   Yeah, we can do phone or skype, but it’s simply not the same – and besides, which kid uses the phone now to talk?  Certainly not Jason.  LOL LOL.

Jason, my awesome son – the world’s at your feet.  You have the ingredients of success.  Carpe diem.

And before I get even more emotional, I’ll end this posting.

Happy Labour Day Weekend.

I'm confused - Canada Eh???

I’m a proud father.  I’m honored to be a Canadian citizen (been a citizen since 1991) and I love this country.  It’s given me opportunity, a safe haven to raise two teenaged-kids and a very high standard of life.  I have no complaints about this country --- well maybe the weather.  Having travelled to some 41 countries, I must say that Canada ranks very high, if not being number one.

Tonight was Jason’s, our oldest child’s high-school graduation ceremony.  Yup, he’s off to Uni in the fall.  He’s just finished 4 very happy years at Westmount Collegiate.  The school has given him a great education, great values and great life-lessons and for that as a parent – I am grateful.

The ceremony was tasteful, sweet, appropriate and I think appreciated by the about 1,000 people (students and their parents) that attended at a lovely banquet centre in Vaughan.

I’m confused.  I am bothered.  

I need to vent – and here’s why?

• No Canadian flag on the nicely adorned stage?
• No Canadian anthem at any point in the 2 hour ceremony?
• No evidence of the fact that our children should be proud of our Canadian values, or even be vaguely knowledgeable as to what these values may even be?

Like WTF?

Now personally, and in full disclosure I believe …

• Most (if not all politicians) will do anything to get the vote (it’s their ticket to employment, after all) – so in other words, I am not very trusting of the sector
• We’ve taken political correctness way too far and we’re now at the point of being so politically correct that we’ll disregard our respect for Canada for fear of offending some/ any fringe minority that may get offended

Putting my political beliefs as well as my love and respect for our great country aside, I’m perplexed why there was no flag and no anthem at tonight’s lovely ceremony.

I’ll try find out why … watch this space for more details.  Meanwhile if anyone can enlighten me, please feel free to do so … even if you think I am being an over-sensitive jack-ass.

Canada – Eh!

Always read the small print and watch what you're paying for ...

Mobile technology is so cool. We take it for granted that pretty much wherever we are, we’re tethered and therefore reachable … amazing!  Now, to be fair, amazing things generally cost money.  And I have no problem with that.  Where I have a problem, is where one fails to disclose the true nature of the deal.  Now, a lawyer I am not.  But what I know is this.  Failure to disclose a material fact is tantamount to telling a lie.  And that’s not cool. 

Just a few weeks ago, I had occasion to visit Vegas.  I was to be gone for 4 days.  Called Rogers, my long-time wireless provider and asked about roaming packages.  They have one that was to have fitted my needs perfectly.  $40 for 50 minutes of talk time, boatloads of data etc.  I signed up having spoken to a very helpful Rogers rep on the phone.  All good? … well no - not so much.

Got back.  Opened the bill yesterday to see I exceeded my 50 minutes (using 80 minutes).  Hmm … huh?  I know I was frugal.  I know that when using the phone, I would let it ring twice (and if my wife or kid/s back home didn’t pick up), I’d hang up … so therefore, no connection at all.  But huh --- what are all these one minute charges about?

Called Rogers.  CSR said the charge only started when the call is picked up --- ie human to human/ voicemail contact.  “So why all the one minute charges, when I specifically hung up before human/ voicemail contact,” I asked. 

“One minute,” said the now-a-little-nervous CSR. 

She tried to counter-argue the point, claiming the charges were indeed charges by AT &T (the Las Vegas network) and not those made by Rogers.  Umm … hello my bill is paid to Rogers, (my relationship is with Rogers). I was told one thing by Rogers --- and its ability to negotiate with other carriers is neither my issue nor problem.

Well, several supervisors and several sheepish admissions later, I’d gotten to the bottom of it.  The minute starts as soon as the phone rings on the other side, whether or not it is answered.  And that’s preying on unsuspecting customers, whom would logically think the charge would begin only, and only if, the call is picked up on the other side.

Now to be fair and in full disclosure, Rogers did reverse the overage changes and I am grateful.  But I do wonder how many others have been caught in this nifty little trap

Write your comments below …

My time in Las Vegas

I’ve just come back from a weekend in Las Vegas.  It’s an amazing place that seems to be a city of extremes capable of bring out the very best (and worst) in humanity.
  

During last night’s sleepless red-eye back east, I had over 4 hours to think about my trip – and actually penned this blog posting at 36,000 feet.

Here’s some highlights of the trip and of course some key learning that will make me a better person

1.       Think big, but be realistic.  Even been to the Venetian or Mirage or the Wynne? Each of these behemoths sport more than 4,500 guest rooms and employ some 15,000 people each … that’s the size of a town and then some.  Think the hotel owners thought small?  No way --- they each had a vision, that although near possible to implement, was realistic enough that each with implemented with a very fine attention to detail

2.       It’s about the experience.  Yeah sure, a burger is a burger.  How many ways can one grill a salmon?  Certainly finite.  However – it’s not just the burger or the salmon that makes Vegas, Vegas.  It’s the look of the menu, the cool music, the sensual energy that seems to pervade the city’s very fabric.  And it’s also the people – talk to them, understand them.  It’s actually humbling

3.       Technology is important.  Knowing how to use it – more so.  I’m not afraid to admit that I’ve done some knuckle-headed travel things in my day.  The floating casino in New Orleans … umm, I’ll save it for another day.  However, my latest shenanigan is up there among the all time greatest knuckle-head maneuvers.  Hilarious now, not so at the time.  Kudo’s to the Mirage Hotel for locating the video of us getting into the cab --- in all of 2 minutes … thanks to technology and an excellent knowledge, it all ended up fine.  Perhaps, I shortened my life by a couple years … but hey – who’s counting

4.       Go to the Laundry Room.  Stat.

5.       Don’t take yourself or things too seriously.  Stuff happens in Vegas.  Good stuff and bad stuff and stuff that you have no idea whether it’s good or bad.  But roll with it.  Work it – an poker parlance, “Play the hand you got, not the one you wish you had”

6.       Go with the right people.  Dunno what was more awesome … they people I was with or the people I was with. And very importantly, I made sure to stop and pause for 5 minutes every day to thank G_d.  The end. 

Why Owning A Problem Pays

Buying a barbeque is not the kind of thing my wife and I get excited about so it was with dread that we found ourselves at Lowes last weekend.  Buying a new one turned to be easy, and dare I say – even pleasurable. The sales guy (Chris) knew his stuff, smiled, made a joke or two,  asked about our needs so he could recommend something appropriate – and he even upsold us.  We were in and out in 20 minutes, enjoyed the experience and got what we wanted.  We also paid them to assemble the beast (I’m good with money --- my hands … well not so much).

 

I was to come back to load said beast in a flat-bed (specially rented for the occasion) and to take it home.  All good, until I got to my street, within sight of our house actually.  While rounding the final corner, the barbeque became untethered and flipped on its side with an ominous thud.   Sixty seconds later I was on my driveway – the beast --- bad news.  Dented, broken and badly scratched.

Now, let’s be straight up here.  This is 100% my problem.  Not Lowes.  Not Lowes at all.  Nada.  Zilch.  

And nor did I expect Lowe’s to do anything besides order another beast and charge me full-pop. 

S&^t happens!

Got back to Lowes 15 minutes later.  It’s a busy afternoon there.  Spoke to a helpful young lady at their customer service desk.  I explain this issue – she listens, smiles, nods and understands.   I’m quite prepared to pay for my error in not having tied the beast properly.  Mistakes cost money and why would this mistake be any different from any other mistake I have ever made. 

The assistant manager comes over.  His name is Rob.  Greets me with a smile, looks at the now broken, dented and scratched beast. 

“Irreparable”, he explains. I know it.

Rob confers with this associate – and without me even having to ask, agree to replace my barbeque.  FREE!!!  Yes, they’re 100% paying for my error in not having tied the beast to the flat-bed. 

In other words, they’re owning my problem.  Wow!  Next week, I’ll go back to Lowes, pick up a brand new barbeque – and this time will tie it properly.  Promise.

So, what’s to learn and observe?

• Lowe’s were well within their right to do nothing for me – they used this opportunity to do everything for me
• They greeted me and dealt with me, with smiles – who says a smile does not go a long way?
• They took ownership of the problem (my problem) – that was caused through NO fault of theirs
• Yeah, they took a loss --- a big loss on the transaction, but they’ve made me a Zombie Loyalist  (this one’s for you Peter Shankman) for life

Thanks’ Lowes --- and to all the people in the store who dealt with and fixed my stupid boo-boo. You turned what could have been a very crappy experience for me, into something awesome.  So awesome in fact that I've told all 1,356 people who read my blog about this.

Cheers to kick-ass service.  And Lowes … I’m a customer for life.

My Mild Irritation

I’m a pretty even-tempered kind of guy and there’s nothing that phases me much.  But when I woke up this morning, I was mildly irritated.  I stopped and thought - could not figure out what was phasing me.  I was also not quite able to figure out if I was irritated about being phased or more irritated about not knowing exactly what was irritating me.  I guess we all have those days from time to time.  No biggie – by lunch-time my irritation had subsided somewhat as I was heading downtown to meet a client. 

Paperwork completed? Check!

Subway tokens? Check!

Tie straight? Check!

Hair brushed? Check!

Laptop in laptop bag? Check!

Slung over my shoulder in the usual way?

NOPE – YIKES!

You see – what had happened Friday was that the shoulder strap had broken, and I had forgotten.  And it was this small thing that caused the irritation, made even more acute by the fact that I now had to carry my laptop in its bag instead of slinging it over my shoulder --- and in so doing occupying one of my two arms.

So, what’s the big deal? Well for me it is!

Can’t check my emails with one hand.  Need to be more mindful of now not leaving my laptop somewhere – I’m absent-minded at the best of times. If my laptop is in my right hand, and my subway token in my right pocket --- well now what?  Complexity --- and I don't want more than I already have. 

But most of all, it’s a routine I am used to.  The feeling and the weight of my laptop and bag slung over my right shoulder is comforting.  Or should I say “was” now that the strap has broken.  

Not for long though – and that’s a good thing.  I’m going to the mall first thing in the morning (actually the local Walmart – it opens at 7am) to get myself a brand new laptop bag.

At least my minor irritation won’t continue – and I am very grateful for that.  I am also very grateful for everything else I have.  As I learn in Torah - the happy person is happy with what he has. 

And these words are so true.  

It's been a great year

So, in just a few days (3, to be precise), I'll be turning 49.  I've been told by many that 50 is a turning point - and am not quite sure actually whether that is a good or a bad thing.  Anyway, I have a year to decide, or to have that decided for me ... meanwhile, it's all good.   So why am I writing this blog today?  Simple --- I am very grateful for everything I have.  How grateful?  About as grateful as one can be.  I'll explain.

Over the holidays my wife (Karen), two teen-age kids (Jason and Amanda) and I went on an awesome vacation.  A boat cruise!  A week on the water.  Stopped at St. Thomas, St. Kitts, St Lucia, Barbados and St Maarten.  Each island was prettier than the one before.  Anything to escape the harshness of the Canadian winter (even if it is just for a week or two).  Woot.

Without getting into too much detail - I have it all.  And I truly mean that.  There is nothing I want that I don't have.  Period.

One thing I am cognizant of is the passage of time ... it is flying.  And that is frightening.  I've never been one for new year's resolutions.  Too common I guess ... everyone makes them and 95% of people break them within a week (statistics).

I prefer to make resolutions on my birthday --- just seems a better time.  And I suppose that with every passing birthday, one is reminded of their own mortality.  Here's my plans for this coming year.

1.  Practice more random acts of kindness.  Buy a stranger at a bar a drink.  Want nothing in return.  Just do something nice for someone.  Just because.

2.  Sing and dance more.  Wake up on the wrong side of the bed ever?  Turn up some music that you like.  Sing and dance.  You'll feel better.  Guaranteed.

3.  Work efficiently.  Saw a bumper sticker the other day ... "Hard work never killed anyone, but why take a chance".  Perhaps there's truth to that.  Working efficiently is something only just a few people do.  I will try to be more efficient in the workplace.

4.  Live large.  Big difference between living large and living irresponsibly.  It is a fine line.  Establish your limits and stick within them.  Nothing wrong with that. A healthy mind is always in a healthy body.  Especially when you get to your middle ages (hello John Sacke), it's key to exercise regularly.  It's something that I do between 4-6 hours every week --- and is standing me in good stead.  I think.

5.  Keep in touch with people, especially when you don't need them.  This point touches on what was likely one of the most profound findings of mine this past year.  It's the notion of "friends" calling you only when they need you - and dodging your phone calls when all you're trying to do is to say hi.  Yeah, I get it --- we are all busy chasing careers, chasing kids, chasing parents, chasing spouses - and the list never ends.  But, but but --- grinding out a text when you're on line in the grocery store, or making a call on your daily commute!  Easy as pie!  The excuse that you've been so busy for months on end, is just that.  An excuse

6.  Finally - never be late or flake.  See this posting from Peter Shankman.  He nails it.

So, that's my story for now --- and I am sticking to it. Call me.  Email me.  Text me.  February 11.  You have my contact information.

Carpe Diem!