Here’s what happens when you get up early!

 

 For those of you who know me, I’m a big believer in, “The early bird gets the worm” and here’s how it works.

So, I’m speaking to my friend Howard a few days ago. Howie (as he is known) and I met in high school many years ago.  An excellent athlete and a mensh of menshes, Howie’s always inspired me.  We speak every week or two, catch up, compare notes and invariably talk about our children.  His are Dylan and Codey.  Mine are Jason and Amanda. All four are high achievers.

Codey and her partner, Joey (both in their mid 20’s) left Canada a couple weeks ago to settle in Australia – it’s a big step for sure. And Howie tells me that Joey has already got a job.

“What? So soon?  I guess he got an inter-company transfer”, I asked. 

“Nope, nothing of the sort,” said Howie.  “He’s an early riser”. 

“You see”, Howie continued. “Codey and him are staying with my old friend Gary.  Early one morning last week, Joey got the worm”.

I met Gary eons ago before we both left South Africa in the late 80’s.   Gary’s one of the top veterinarians in Australia.  He wakes up early to tend his clients, (horses).

So on one particular morning ten days ago,  Joey asks Gary if he can join Gary in his morning rounds.  “Sure”, Gary said – and so just after 5 am they set off, first to make a stop at the local coffee joint for a morning java.

Gary’s a regular there.  The owner knows him – and as Gary and Joey walked in, they were just in time to hear the coffee shop’s owner’s almost silent rant about how hard it is to get a manager for the early morning shift (5 to 10am).

As Gary and Joey ordered their coffee, Joey spoke up. “You know,” he said. “I’m an early riser and I would love the 5am shift.  I promise I’ll be the best 5am guy you’ve ever met.”  He was hired at 5:05am and started at 5:00am the next morning.

So here’s the deal.  Will Joey be the best 5am coffee guy you’ve ever met? Will he spend the rest of his life pouring coffee and heating muffins?  Who knows!  But that’s not the point.

The point is clear – and there are two.  The first is to wake up early.  And the second is to ask. 

I think we all (including me) have what to learn from this young man.

Howie, thanks for inspiring me and ps - I’m writing this at 5:09am – nice and early and can you please get me a coffee? Or better yet, tell Joey that I’m writing this because of you (and him)

Thanks for the inspiration

What 35 years in Canada means to me

 

Exactly 35 years ago today, I arrived in Toronto.  I was 22 at the time and back in 1988, there was no internet, a long-distance call was barely possible and I knew nothing about anything.  I only knew two things about Canada.  One: it was as far away as one could get from the sunny shores of South Africa and two: it was always cold.

The simple young adult that I was – I went along with the flow - not knowing what to expect – new territory and unchartered waters.

And the adventure that started 35-years ago today, continues – thanks to the foresight of my awesome parents who unselfishly, gave up so much to get myself, my brother and sister to a safer and more sane society than South Africa was to become.

As I reflect, the first few years here were incredibly difficult.  Adjusting to a new way of life – and with very little in the way of finances to speak of is not for the faint-of heart.  It’s about perseverance, true grit and determination.  I’m fortunate in that these qualities are a part of my being.

Make no mistake, I’ve paid my dues, paid my taxes and contributed tremendously to society – it’s just the way I roll. 

A proud and patriotic South African, I still love the country that gave me 22 awesome years, equipping me surprisingly well for the next 35 – and for that I am grateful.

Canada – my homeland – “With glowing hearts we see thee rise, The True North, strong and free!”.  It’s the words “strong” and “free” that resonate in me mostly.  They speak loudly to me.  “Strong” in character and “free” in spirit – this country has always allowed me to live strong and be free.

1994, 1997 and 2001 were pivotal years.  In 1994, I married the most awesome woman I could ever have wished for – Karen.  In 1997, I became a father to Jason and in 2001, we were blessed with Amanda.  I’m so grateful to my family, a diverse and broad set of friends, an amazing career and most of all – the abundance of health I enjoy.

Today, I look backward and forward.  Backward at what has been three and a half decades of joy, laced with some awesome accomplishments, I would never have thought possible.  Forward to the next chapter of joy.

But for now, I’m going to sit quietly and reflect – in an all-to-brief moment of gratitude.

Reflections: Lockdown

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. We’re in lockdown again, stuck at home. Sucks! No question - the last 18 months (or so) have been nothing short of tumultuous as COVID19 has ravaged the globe. 

I had an insightful conversation with a pharmacist friend, we discussed the significant toll the pandemic has taken on mental health. Mental illness rates have skyrocketed since last March, prescriptions quadrupling.  

But I am grateful to talk about what brings me so much joy, especially in times like this. Read below! 

1. Music. Life without music would be unbearable and unlivable. How miraculous it is that I hit the play button on my phone, and seconds later, sounds of music hit my brain, register in my brain, and please me - no end. Nothing better than sitting back and listening to classic rock. Within milliseconds I am overcome with joy. How miraculous is that? I pinch myself in amazement. 

2. My relationship with G-d. I am not going to pretend that I am religious, just keep a kosher home, stick to dairy-only out.  (Remember when we used to go out for an occasional dinner?). We keep a strictly kosher home, which I am not willing to bend on. Be that as it may – I know who G-d is, what he wants from me, what I want from him, and how to relate to him. Sorry social justice warriors, I still refer to G-d as masculine.  I may be wrong, but whether G-d is male or female doesn’t make a difference to me. 

3. My health. Yup, I am now closer to 60 than I am to 50. Unfortunately, ageing is inevitable, but I am grateful every day for my excellent health, am addicted to nothing, and live a normal life. Yeah, I could lose a few pounds, who couldn’t? I do recognize how lucky I am to be healthy. 

4. Love. I have an abundance. I am so grateful every day for all the love I give, but more importantly, all of the love I get without having to ask. I’ve got an awesome wife with whom I’ve been married for 27 years. We have two great children who are finding their own ways with our counsel. We have given them the foundation to lead productive and happy lives. Despite having emigrated 32 years ago, I am grateful that both my mom and dad, brother, and sister all live within a 10-minute drive from one another. How remarkable is that?

5. Physical fitness. Going hand in hand with health, I love being active. Despite being in isolation for some 18 months, I am lucky to have an at-home gym where I spin with Fern, my faithful teacher of 8 years and AdlerFitness --- we have the technology, I can crank up the music in my house, sing and shout, while I spin with my mic on mute, and rid myself of all my tensions. 

6. Career. They say that you won’t work a day in your life if you love what you do, and although I work some 60 hours a week every week, it often feels as though I don't work at all. How lucky am I to enjoy that? 

7. Nature. “Oh shit,”
   
   I said to myself last Wednesday when I saw in my yard our gorgeous blooming magnolia tree with snow. It's not up to me to figure these things out, why we get snow in the third week of April, or how a magnolia tree blossoms. Both these concepts are above my pay grade. But I couldn't help but admire the beautiful juxtaposition that hit my eyes, gorgeous. 

I could ramble on all day, but that’s not my style. For now, I want to sit back, revel in all that I have with huge gratitude.  

Disclosure:  I am not compensated by AdlerFitness

Happy Birthday Champ, aka The Greatest

Can't say I am or ever was a big fan of boxing, but one thing is for sure, I know the champ.  You see on this day (January 17) in 1942, the champ was born in Louisville, Kentucky.    Beginning training at 12, he would win the light heavyweight gold medal in the 1960 Olympics (6 years before I was born).  On March 6, 1964, he announced he no longer would be known as Cassius Clay but as Muhammad Ali. In 1966, he refused to be drafted into the military, citing his religious beliefs and ethical opposition to the war that was raging in Vietnam. He was found guilty of draft evasion so he faced 5 years in prison and was stripped of his boxing titles. He stayed out of prison as he appealed the decision to the Supreme Court, which overturned his conviction in 1971 by which time by all accounts he was past his peak performance as an athlete.   

Many phrases were coined by him, "The greatest", "Rope-a-dope", "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee",  "Fight of the century", "The Thrilla in Manila", "The Rumble in the Jungle". There are many more!

I think though, his most humorous and endearing story was in 1971, when Wilt Chamberlain challenged Ali to a fight, scheduled for July 26. Although the seven-foot-two-inch tall Chamberlain had formidable physical advantages over Ali—weighing 60 pounds more and able to reach 14 inches further—Ali was able to influence Chamberlain into calling off the bout by taunting him with calls of "Timber!" and "The tree will fall". No wonder  - the Ali statement unsettled Wilt the Stilt - the bout was called off.  

And then there was the Rumble in the Jungle.  I was 8 years old at the time, didn't know much about anything, other than Kinshasa was somewhere in Africa.  Ali was supremely confident.  So confident that he told the press, "done something new for this fight. I done wrestled with an alligator, I done tussled with a whale; handcuffed lightning, thrown thunder in jail; only last week, I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick; I'm so mean I make medicine sick."

There is so much more than can be said, but I'll end this by saying the world lost this icon to the ravages of Parkinson's on June 3, 2016.  

Champ - here's to you on what would have been your 79th birthday!

December 8, 1980 - A day in the life

I was 14 at the time.  Muizenberg.  South Africa.  With my parents on our annual family vacation.  I had no idea what death was, how it worked, its consequences.  And - its finality.

It was actually December 9th when I found out --- about John Lennon's death.  Gunned down outside his brownstone in New York City at 10:49pm (New York Time) on the 8th - 5:49am on Dec 9th (Cape Town time).  I was at the corner store, getting a chocolate bar, when I saw the headline.  It stopped me.  It seemed like time froze - and in what seemed like an eternity, this 14 year-old naive and innocent, John Sacke realized the world had lost a musical icon - John Lennon.  

Murdered by Mark David Chapman.  A lunatic.  A deranged security guard from Hawaii, he had been a fan of the Beatles and would later claim he had been enraged by Lennon's now infamous 1966 remark about the group being "more popular than Jesus."  You'd gun down a guy for that?

Some say John's last words were, "I'm shot".  Other reliable sources they were "Yes", in response to the officers' question, "Are you John Lennon".  Whatever they were, the tragedy remains.  

For the most part, the Beatles were before my time.  I was in diapers when they released what is perhaps the greatest album of all time, "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" .  Released in May 1967, it would go on to spend 15 weeks as the Top Album in the United States - a record at that time. 

I never really internalized John Lennon's death until about 25 years ago - when acts of terror and hate really began to penetrate the mainstream.   And sadly today, heinous acts of terror are an almost daily occurrence somewhere in the world.  The acts are too numerous to mention, and with each one, the world becomes a little, no, make that a lot darker.

And there is no question at all, that the Beatles are as relevant today as they have ever been.  According to Forbes Magazine the Beatles' songs were streamed more than 1.5 billion times last year - and that almost half of the people streaming them, were under 30.  Wow!  Can you imagine being highly relevant for 50 years and counting?  What a musical force, indeed.

I listen to John and the Beatles iconoclastic musical masterpieces all the time and so thankful for it.  It's music I never tire of.  Never seems to go stale - and the more I listen, the more I appreciate its brilliance --  

Even during this pandemic, there are memorial ceremonies being held.  At Strawberry Fields in New York.  Outside the Capitol Records Building on Vine Street in Los Angeles - and in front of Lennon's Hollywood Walk of Fame Star.  There is also a memorial being held inside this little heart of John Sacke.    

"You may say I'm a dreamer

But I'm not the only one

I hope someday you'll join us

And the world will live as one"

My first post in almost 9 months

Time flies. Wow.  

February 12, 2020 (my last blog post).  291 days, 25,142,400 seconds. 419,040 minutes. 6984 hours. 79.51% of the year.  A universe apart.  Everything has changed.  It's a new world.  Not necessarily a better one.  A new world.  But I am grateful.  No make that very grateful.  No again. Make me that "off-the-charts-grateful" for all that I have.  I thank G-d every day.

A vaccine for Covid-19?  I think so.  Coming in 2021.  I know companies like Pfizer, Moderna, Astra Zeneca and many others are pushing science and research to its limits in their attempts to quell this deadly pandemic.

Amidst this changing world, there have been many constants - each one playing a major role in my sanity.  Family.  Friends.  Work.  Health.  Love.  Yes to all.  And then there is music - something that's always soothed me.   Here are some riveting music clips - each with the why.

1.  Amnesty Concert, Maple Leaf Gardens.  1988.  Click here.  The why.  My first concert in Canada, 6 weeks after I arrived.  I had no money.  Jumped the turnstile.  Somehow landed up 9 rows from the stage.  Peter Chapman.  Sting.  The Boss.  Tracy Chapman. Youssou N'Dour.  All singing for the human cause.  Wow!

2. One.  U2 and Mary J. Blige.  Click here.  Guttural Bono at his very best.  Mary - sensual and passionate.  All in One.  You gotta love this one.

3.  Chuck Mangione.  Feels so good.  Click here.  Born exactly on this day in 1940 in Rochester, New York - this is a feel good piece - like no other.  Chuck - happy 80th birthday buddy.

4.  One hundred ways.  James Ingram.  A great soul song.  Click here. Note the words "Bein' cool won't help you keep a love warm. You'll just blow your only chance. Take the time to open up your heart. That's the secret of romance"  Been married to Karen, the love of my life for over 26 years and still going strong.

5. David Bowie.  Starman.  Click here.  Not gonna say much, as I've said it before --- see here - a post I wrote a week after his death in 2016.  A musical icon.  Gone.  Not forgotten.

6.  Asimbonanga.  Jonny Clegg.  Click here.  A haunting song.  A riveting song.  Skip to 4:07 in the clip (if you must) to see Nelson himself make an appearance.  Clegg, a South African musical icon --- just a few years older than me.  Sadly, he passed away July 16, 2019.  Taken too soon.  Cancer.

7.  Eminem.  Lose Yourself.  Click here.  It's hardcore - motivational.  Never seem to get tired of listening it it.  The opening lyrics ... "Look. If you had One shot. Or one opportunity. To seize everything you ever wanted. In one moment. Would you capture it. Or just let it slip?"

Is this list exhaustive?  For sure not.  It's just a listing a songs I've listened to and clips I've watched frequently in the past 9 months.

Stay safe.  Stay sane.  Stay healthy. 

 

I'm Now 54 - A thing or four I have learned

So, yesterday I turned 54 – my age now incorporating the numbers of the most famous dance club of this (or the last) generation; Studio 54.  Truth be told, I did go there a few times (the winter of 1985) but that’s a topic for another day.

You know, birthdays always make me reflect a little – and the perfect time for that was yesterday in the spinning class I went to from 5:30 to 6:15pm.  The instructor played great music – loud – and for those that know me well, know that I love great music – loud.  It was grunge hour yesterday, a genre I particularly like.  Soundgarden.  Nirvana.  Blink 182.  Pearl Jam. I was in my happy place and did some good reflection. 

The bottom line is this: I consider myself to be the most fortunate person I know (or even don't).  Far as I am concerned, I have it all.  A great job.  An awesome wife.  Two great young adult kids.  Supportive family.  A career I adore which provides me a good living.  Perfect health.  A wide and diverse circle of friends and many clients that admire and respect me.  And I live in a fantastic country.  And that’s the point – I have it all – and I am so grateful. 

That I have so much happiness in my life, makes me kinda/ somewhat qualified to share the things that got me to where I am, and if this helps but one person of the approximate 600 that will get this – then the world will be (just a little bit) a better place.

• Being angry for 10 minutes is OK.  Being angry for more than 10 minutes is not.  People, places and things are going to piss you off from time to time.  No question.  And you’re going to be justifiably angry.  Know what I say?  Get over it dude and move on.  No problem was ever solved by dwelling in an angry past --- look at the tomorrow aspect

•  Keep in touch with people – even when you don’t need anything from them and especially when you don’t need anything from them.  Even a dead, rapidly rotting fish in the summer sun smells better than a voicemail I got a few days ago that went like this, “Hi John, it’s so-and-so and we met like ten years ago at a PR conference.  FRemember me? Sorry I never called you or was in touch.  But I wanted to pick your brain for a few minutes.  Please call me.”  Yeah right? I could not hit the delete button fast enough

• Keep your word.  I know this sounds easier than you think – but most people say one thing and do another.  I’ve noticed in the past few years that many people pay little attention to doing what they say and saying what they do … but don’t be a sheeple.  If you say it.  Then do it.  Simple.

• Ask not what others can do for you, but what you can do for others.  Help before you ask for help yourself.  Be kind and generous in everything (especially with our time) to others and they’ll repay you over and over and over again.  You have got to give to get. 

That pretty much is it.  Heed the above 4 ideas – and you’ll live a happier life.  You have my word. Now, as I bask in the emotional warmth from yesterday, I will bid the world goodnight.  Le Chaim!

It's a new era - we're back to where we started

It's weighed on my head for the past few months - the kids leaving the house, that is.  Jason is now back in London, completing his fifth and final year of the Ivey Honors in Business Administration program.  Amanda, our youngest at Queen's University in Kingston - set for her first year in her concurrent education program.

We're back from Kingston now - fingers crossed she's settling in.  She resilient, I hope and expect.  A strong young lady, I hope and expect. At a great educational institution, I hope and expect.  In the prime of her life - I know.

But - it's not easy for me.  It's how my awesome wife and I were twenty-five years ago --- just the two of us.  Except, we're now 25 years older.  25 years more experienced.  And 25 years more in love with one another.  But - it's not easy for me.  I can see this transition is going to be a struggle.

They say the job of being a parent is never done.  Even when your kids live out the house - some 250 kilometers away.  They say the job of being a parent is never done.  Even when your kids get married. They say the job of being a parent is never done.  Even when your kids have kids of their own. 

And while I feel my job is far from done, I can't help feeling sad.  Sad that my kids are out the house.  But happy that they're doing great things with their lives, getting excellent educations and making what are hopefully meaningful life connections - without me.  And that's a good thing.  It's the way nature intended it to be.  You can't fight it.

When I kissed and hugged my daughter yesterday, I felt my eyes well up .  They became thick  and heavy.  I felt the bitter sting of tear as the salty drop worked its way down my warm cheek into the waiting kleenex.  Amanda saw me.  Karen saw me and the world saw me.  Even G-d saw me - and in that tearful and mixed-up moment, I realized I am the luckiest man in the world.

And who was it again - that said real men don't cry?

Things I learned in South Africa

I just returned from an amazing 2-week trip to the land of my birth – South Africa.  To sum it up in a single word – profound.  It was the first time I have returned since 1992.  There are many changes – some for the better, other’s not.

Since I am about ongoing improvement, there are several key learnings:

1.       Never forget your roots.   Makes no difference how much money you made along the way, how many houses you have, how much fame you acquire.  Remember where you came from – because if you forget, you’ll have no idea where you’re going.  And losing you way, is frightening on a good day, disastrous on any other.   

2.       Wake up early.  I noticed Africa starts early (perhaps it’s the early sunrise or the searing heat – makes no difference) but get up before the others do.  The first few hours of the day tend to be one’s most productive.  Just ask my friend Peter Shankman – he’s up at 4am – accomplishing stuff.   I see waking up early as an increasingly important part of my regime. 

3.       Quit wasting.  Fact: 60% of all food prepared in North America is not consumed. Whether it’s water, food, hydro, time or anything similar – use just what you need.  Show respect: don’t waste.  Much of what we waste is irreplaceable – pay attention to the environment.

4.       Keep things simple.  I work with people and money --- two of life’s most complex elements.  There’s a remarkably strong correlation between simplicity and happiness.  In Africa, things are far simpler than in North America and despite service issues in Africa, people are generally very happy.

5.      You don’t just have to blend in … aka celebrate and (more importantly) respect your differences.  I’m no politician, but there are few places I can think of that are more racially divided than South Africa.  As many races as there are in South Africa, each one seemingly respects each other’s traditions and customs and while I know there is racial tension – each race co-exists – and it kinda works.

In closing, happy 2019.

I Got Fooled - A Few Times

If you know me, you know three things.  First: I'm transparent (say it like it is and give full disclosure).  Second: I'm all about giving and getting good value.  Three: I hate getting ripped off.  So, when I am treated without transparency, get no value and get ripped off - well, it's not pretty - and it's not pretty right now.

Last week I met a friend at Cibo - a wine bar in midtown Toronto.  It's her recommendation - a nice wine bar.  Some pretty people are there.  We are seated by an attractive hostess.  Trendy music is playing (a little loud for my taste, but it's all good).  Server comes to our table and introduces herself (dammed if I can remember her name) - but I digress.

She sets drinks menus down - and comes back a few minutes later.  Neither of us open the menus.  I order my usual (Campari and Soda) and my friend orders a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon (pretty pedestrian orders). So far so good.

Couple hours later, we're good to go - the check arrives. "You've charged us for the bottle", I say to the server. "Umm" she replies with a look of incredulity. "The glass of wine your friend ordered is $32".  By this time, I'm rolling on the floor.  "$32 for a glass of cab sauv that my friend ordered - not even by it's name?"

"Yup", said the server with a you-caught-me-with-my-fingers-in-the-cookie-jar look. "This is a wine bar you know." (Note to self - like I believe being in a wine bar justifies a $32 hammering for a glass of cab sauv).

My blood's starting to boil - I'm biting my tongue.  "Sure", I continue - I pay the bill, add a generous tip (like she deserved it) and my friend and I continue chatting. "Wait.  Tell you what," I add, as we run for the exit. "Here's another $20. Use it to buy someone a drink who can't afford to take a $32 pounding for a glass of the same cab sauv my friend just drank" - as I pressed a cool $20 into her soft and wanting palm.

Then we left - not even an entire boatload of bitters could come close to the bitter taste in my mouth.  

I called the manager yesterday- just to let him know.  He was non-chalant - couldn't care less.  "Yeah", he went on. "It was a great wine, wasn't it - I'll let the server know you liked it but thought is was kinda pricey".  I asked if there were perhaps cheaper options. "Many", he replied.  Begs the question (in my mind, at least) why a $32 glass was served, as opposed to a $19 glass or say a $71 glass (if there even is such a thing).  

Obviously the server gave us the proverbial "you-know-what." The manager seemed oblivious. 

"Next time you're in the area, drop in - and ask for me.  If I'm here I'll give you a glass on us," he added.  "Nothing much I can do - like I can't give you a refund or anything."

Yeah right - like I'm gonna come to mid-town to get a free glass of $12, $22, $32, $42 or even $71 glass of anything. 

Lessons learned: 

1.  Don't order a house red, house white, cab sauv, burger or anything at a restaurant without knowing the price - if you do, touch your toes and open wide 'cause you're at their mercy

2.  Deliver and expect full transparency in all your communications - the server should have told us the price tag and given us the choice

3.  As a client/ customer, ask questions

4.  Last impressions last long --- I know you know mine of Cibo

Cibo's at 2472 Yonge Street - that's if you care to touch your toes, open wide and pay $32 for a cab sauv (without opening the menu).  If not, you can buy two bottles of my favorite red wine (Altoona Cab Sauv) and make a toast to three old concepts --- transparency, disclosure and value.

You'd make me smile if you did!  Le Chaim. 

The End-Of-The-Car-Story

So after our awful experience at our local Honda dealership, Michelle read my blog and kindly introduced me to  Raymond Chiu over at Richmond Hill Honda.  And as bad as our experience was at another Honda dealership, so was this experience at Richmond Hill Honda good.    Now to be fair, the car business is not an easy one.  They're high ticket items and the environment is most competitive.  Here's what I learned from Richmond Hill Honda.  Salespeople, business development pro's, realtors, other car salespeople and the like, take note.

1.  First and last impressions are the most important - what happens in the middle - less so.  When we walked into Raymond's dealership for the first time, we were greeted by smiling employees.  Raymond was paged, he showed up within seconds - smiling.  When we left the dealership, new car in hand, we we got fond farewells and thanks from Raymond and his team (Kim and Lewis)

2.  Establish rapport early and at every opportunity.  In my humble opinion, you're not merely buying a car - you're buying a car that fits your lifestyle and Raymond took the time to understand our lifestyle and what we were looking for from a car.  Raymond seemsed to understand our needs, our lives and therefore was able to make suggestions based on our needs, not his.  I call that KYC - know your client

3.  You're only as good as your team - and the team approach always trumps solo.  Raymond talked about his team - and introduced us to Kim - sales assistant.  Kim would prove invaluable in the process of closing the sale.  Oh, and when we picked up the new car - Kim talked us us about all the rust-proofing options (I don't believe in them at all).  No questions Kim's got a job to do - and I get that.  Kim listened, and when I said we were not intereted, she got it.  There is nothing wrong at all with a subtle up-sell (Kim get's a 10 out of 10 for having taken the initiative)

4.  Set expectations from the start.  The dealership clearly articulated, what they were going to do - and what we could expect - and I like that.  In other words, they removed the F.U.D (fear, uncertainly and doubt) factor early

And that, brings our car story to a lovely and appropriate closure.  Thanks to Raymond, Kim and Lewis at Richmond Hill Honda for making our car acquisition process (something I don't particularly enjoy), so easy and such a pleasure. 

This would be sad if it was not so funny - or funny if it was not so sad

My wife’s looking to buy a new car – it’s something we don’t enjoy shopping for.  A necessary evil.  So last weekend, we walk into our local Honda dealership.  After a couple minutes Victor approaches us and introduces himself.  All the salespeople are busy he says and asks if we’d mind making an appointment at a convenient time at which point Victor says, a salesperson would be available.   We’re good with that – and booked our appointment for 4:30pm July 26. 

Couple hours later, I get an email.  Victor’s introduced us to Mike, (a salesperson) and the appointment is set up for 4:30pm July 26.

If I were Mike, there are two things I would have done:

1.        Found out a little more about me and my wife (Facebook/ Linked In/ Social media)

a.       It’s called relationship building – any salesperson would/ should know that

2.       Shown up for the appointment early

a.       The first rule of sales

Not sure if Mike did 1. above – but for sure he did not do 2. above.  Sadly, here’s what happened. 

We arrived at the dealership and were greeted by the hostess.  Asked for Mike.  Received a blank stare.  “He’s not here”, we were told.  “Umm, we have an appointment at 4:30”.  “One moment please”

Hostess returns a minute later.  “We’ve called him and he will be here in a few minutes.” “OK – we’ll wait.”

The clock’s ticking.  It’s 4:45pm.  Victor sees us - comes by and I tell him what’s happening.  Our mood is spoiling faster than Usain Bolt can sprint the 100m.  Victor calls Mike – Mike’s still on his way.  Victor disappears – we don’t see him again

4:56pm – we’re walking out the door of the dealership - our moods are entirely ruined.  Mike comes flying in.  Apologizes.  But the damage’s been done.  We’re out the door – on route to another dealership.

Now maybe Mike had a personal emergency – I understand and sympathize.  That being the case, there’s phone and email to let me know.

Now, my time’s worth no more than Mike’s, Victor’s – are anyone else’s for that matter.   But one thing I do respect is punctuality – especially when there’s not a single thing on Honda’s floor prices lower than $30,000. 

Again, due respect to salespeople --- it’s a hard job and it’s one that I admire and respect.  But when you don’t know with whom you’re dealing and show up late, you have more chance of making the sale than snowflake has of surviving in a furnace.  

What happens when you don't return phone calls

Some things are intuitive and some things are not.  I get that, but one thing I just don’t understand is the thought process behind why so many people refuse to return calls.  Call me stupid, but I just don’t get it.

I am an investment advisor.  It’s something that I am honored and privileged to do for many families and businesses.  I take my clients’ money very seriously – as seriously as I take my own.  And my clients know it.  That I am the financial steward for so many normal people is a testament to the trust I’ve built up.  My clients know me as a natural connector, meaning I match many people up with resources they may need.  And although I only manage money, I’ve helped people in my network find soul mates, family therapists, addiction counselors, plumbers, all sorts of trades people, and a large miscellany of other resources.

I am also very generous (perhaps to a fault) or referring business to those in my network.  I do this to help others.  There’s nothing in it for me, except happiness and doing the right thing.  I create good karma. 

A good part of my job is calling people, to talk money and to offer help.  The reality is that most people who manage their own money have almost no clue as to how it works.  The result: Significant losses over prolonged periods.  It’s these very same people who continue to blame bad luck.  No – it’s not bad luck.  It’s bad decision making. Period. 

My approach is simple.  I tell – never sell.   I say things like they are (no sugar-coating) and I work with those that share the same philosophies as I do about money.  If you do – we work together.  And if we don’t – we don’t.  And I am totally not offended, either way.  Oh, and I also have a very thick skin.  Nothing ever offends me, except not returning my calls and saying a simple, honest or even dishonest - “No”

Here's what happens if you have never returned a call of mine:

1. I am not going to support your brand. Why would I continue to support your brand, if you don’t have the courtesy to return more than 10 of my calls over a 12-month period. I call that rude (rude I get over easily) – not to mention unprofessional.  A senior VP of a nationally recognized coffee-store chain refused my calls – repeatedly.  Eighteen months later, I go out of my way to not support them. 
2. You’re not using your time well – and your time is money.  Call me back.  Ask me to delete you from my database.  You’ll be deleted within seconds.  Promise.  Total time spent: between 30 and 60 seconds.  You’ve created valuable goodwill, and we’re all good.   Don’t call me back and I’ll call you between 6 and 8 more times.  No goodwill is created and you’ll spend between two and 3 minutes when I finally do reach you.  #awkward.  Get the picture?
3. If you don’t take networking/ introduction calls, you’re not going to get introduction/ networking calls.    In business, it’s not necessarily what you know, but rather who you know.  I learned this from Peter Shankman, a master of networking.  And there would be no successful business person who could honestly and with conviction discount the value of their network.
4. The worm turns.  There will come a time when you’ll need to reach out for some financial advice.  This time may be a year or two hence or maybe a decade or two hence.  Either way the worm turns.  Now, to be clear there are thousands of John Sacke’s around – but this John Sacke would rather talk to courteous people.   It’s just the way I roll. 

So, if you know some one, who habitually never returns calls, you may want to send this along to him/ her.  And if you never return calls – you may want to start.  I promise, it’s a good idea.  You can only gain.

 

Carpe diem

I'm 51 today --- and here's where I am

Today, February 11, 2017 is my 51st birthday.  And birthdays (at least for me) are a time to celebrate, assess, plan, ruminate and enjoy.  Mostly, it's a time to enjoy one's freedom - something I have lots of. Ironic is that on this day in 1990, Nelson Mandela, the greatest freedom activist of this era, became free.

So, in assessing where I am today in relation to where I would want to be today, I really am a man in a million  billion  trillion.  Here's why:

1.  I have my health.  By that I mean all my health.  I don't take pills to get up, stay up or sleep.  I don't need pills.  Period. Yes, I do like a drink or two - but it's not anything excessive or that would rule my life.  I drink in social settings as much or as little as the next guy - sure.  And there's nothing wrong with that.  I watch what I eat.  I weigh 175 pounds and workout at least 4 times a week.  You get the picture.

2.  I have a blessed marriage - truly blessed.  Frightening fact: one in two marriages end in divorce.  Really.  I have clients in all stages of marriage dissolution/ divorce and more often than not - the results are simply catastrophic.  Karen and I work on our marriage, have simple understandings and enjoy life's simple pleasures together - and that's the key.  Do we always agree on everything?  Hell no - we're human.  But we are able to work out our differences by communicating.

3.  I have a sense of humor.  This is a biggie.  I am also able to laugh at myself.  Often.  And yes, sometimes I do get frustrated by my frailties.  I lose my keys daily.  And then find them.  I lose my wallet daily.  And then find it.  I lose my mind daily.  And then find it. These things are easily overcome.  The one frailty that continues to bother me is my increasing fear of flying - seriously.  I don't seem to be able to overcome it.  And that bothers me.  A lot.

4.  I have a great family.  I have an awesome brother and sister as well as parents.  We all see eye-to-eye.  I have two great teenage kids (well, OK - our son will be 20 this year) - and I even have a great mother-in-law (how many sons-in-law can say that?)  And over the years, time and time again, my family have stood by me.

5.  I have great friends.  They say you can always judge one by the company they keep.  And if that's any measure, I am the king-of-kings.  I have a wide circle of friends (both guys and girls) whom I adore - and I think the feelings are mutual.  They keep me sane, guided and energized - and when I occasionally step out of line, they slap me back to reality.

6.  I have a great career. As a financial advisor, I am so honored that over 130 families from all walks of life, allow me to serve them with grace, dignity, service excellence and results.  I would not change what I do for anything - it truly is a pleasure.

7.  I have an abundance of everything.  Everything - and for that, I am so grateful.  With that, I am going to sit back, pour myself a glass of wine, listen to some tunes and remind myself of all of my abundances and how much I have to be grateful for.

Peace.  Love, Happiness.

It's a tale about my shoes

I guess I’m more determined than I thought.  And when that happens, the stars have a way of lining up … just right.   And today – they did.

I worked out Thursday night.  The ho-hum stuff.  Nothing special.  40 minutes elliptical and 20 minutes weights.  Came home hot and sweaty.  Showered and as usual packed my gym back for the next time.  “Umm, where are my gym shoes,” I said to myself, mildy aggravated. “I guess I left them at the club,” I said --- even more irritated.   

Put my bag in my trunk for the next time (which was this morning), and went on my way.

Saturday morning spin class is the favorite of the week.  It’s with Fern and I’ve been taking her class for 3 years now.  Fern’s excellent – best there is as far as I am concerned.  Now, a good spinner is something that I am not.  Ashley, yes.  Sharon, yes.  Neal, yes.  Sheryl, yes. Michael, yes.  Me – well not so much.  But it’s enjoyable. And I try the hardest. 

I get to the club a few minutes early – and yup, it’s just then that I realized my bag had everything except my shoes.  Duh?!?!?

I search frantically through all the lockers in the men’s room, including the locker where I most likely left them.  Empty.

I go to the lost and found.  Of course my shoes are not there, but out the corner of my eye I spot another pair of shoes, that could (in a pinch) fit me.  I hustle them on --- and they fit (almost) perfectly.   Maybe gross, but my determination to do Fern’s spin class was rewarded

It’s 9:27am.  Class starts in 3 minutes.  Run upstairs to the spin studio.  Jump on my bike and enjoy another one of Fern’s awesome classes.

So why am I blogging about this seemingly trivial story

1     Sport is a great equalizer and when you find a way to play the game, others around you find the same ways for you to play the game

      It puts the spotlight on the disgust I feel for Egyptian wrestler Islam El Shebaby who when defeated by Israeli Or Sasson, refused to shake his hand.  The Olympians of old would have had El Shebaby immediately thrown out of the games.

And in other news, this morning, I bought myself a brand new pair of sports shoes.  

Jason's first year of University --- Is Over

2016 so far has been an amazing year ... it was 9 months ago that Jason (our oldest son), started his University career at Huron College at Western University.  It was an extremely emotional time for me.  And if you don't remember, please see my emotionally-charged blog posting about his departure here.

Well, it's now 9 months later, and he's home for the summer (that's if this dastardly cold Canadian weather ever improves) - and so last week, I made the Toronto-London pilgrimage (like all good parents do) to pick him up.

Jason Leaving South-West Residence
for the last time

He's had a stellar year by all counts --- and as I look back on his first year, I thought I'd share some insights I've gained

1.  It was a major step for Jason, but an even (unseemingly) larger step for me.   I vividly remember saying goodbye to him last year, knowing full well I would see him 5 weeks later.  It was not that that killed me, but it was the realization that he was far more accountable tio himself than he would be to us

2.  Texting is far more efficient (at least to Jason) than phone.  I think it's true to say that kids no longer give good phone ... they give great text.  Jason and I had many great text convo's this past year.  Phone --- not so many.

Father and Son

3.  You gotta trust.  This is a big one for me.  In my world, trust is something that's earned.  It does not simply come.  I think it's fair to say that Jason earned our trust --- in every way.

That said, I'm kinda tired --- so I will end right here.  Nest year (September), Jason moves into a house with his 4 university friends.  The chapter continues

Blessings!

I turned 50 last week --- now what

This old guy turned 50 the week before last (on February 11, to be precise).  No question, it is a milestone date.  As I reflect, I am exactly where I want to be in life.  Exactly.

That said, tomorrow I plan to do something a little different - perhaps.  I do a weekly spin class at the local gym.  There are about 25 of us die-hard souls to who it.  The teacher is Fern.  She's excellent - focuses on drills, technique and fun.  Of course, the music is the most important part (at least for me) and it's kick-ass, far as I'm concerned.  It's retro one week, Bowie the next, Donna Summer the next and AC/DC the following.  It's a melange (ohh, I love that word).

No matter the music, it's good karma, and that's what keeps me coming back.

I'm going to surprise each person tomorrow.  I am going to spread more good karma.

Attached to each person's bicycle, will be a five dollar bill with a note attached to do a good deed. Any deed.  That's all.  And we will see what happens.

You know, I think the Beatles said it best, "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make."  And I want to make a lot of love.

Le Chaim!

Bowie And The Week That Was

Last week was not a good week for me. I hope this one's better.

7:01am Monday 10 January 2016:  Q-107 wakes me every day at 7:01am.  "The music world is in mourning.  Rock legend David Bowie has died of throat cancer at age 69 at his home in Brixton," says Rick Derringer, Q's morning man.

Huh?  Really?  I think I'm dreaming.  I turn over, mumble something to my wife, Karen.  It's true though.  David Bowie had died --- and the world is in mourning.  

I think it was Darwin who said, "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change."

And Bowie was the most adaptable there was - no matter what his persona, he was always recognizable.  His voice, and message, was always his own.  And I love that.

His last offering, Blackstar,both enigmatic and exploratory was released on his 69th birthday.  Only the Thin White Duke could have the chutzpah to do that, as he lay dying.  I know he knew his days were numbered.   He was Major Tom, afterall.   The only Major Tom that ever was. 

His innumerable songs were about being an outsider, a misfit, an alien, an astronaut, a crazy man - the list goes on.  His music was rock, jazz, punk and even cabaret.  His music was all his own. Completely adaptable, he continually morphed his persona, inspiring Madonna and Lady Gaga.  He was as influential in Japanese Fashion as he was in Philadelphia Funk and German Electronica.  He also collaborated with classical composer Philip Glass, who based two symphonies on David's albums, Low and Heroes.  

His anthem, (in my opinion) was Changes from his 1971 (I was 5 at the time) offering, Hunky Dory,  ... "Turn and face the strange/ Ch-ch-changes/ Oh, look out you rock and rollers/ Pretty soon now, you're gonna get older."

He was a major influence on Nirvana who chose to sing The Man Who Sold The World in its brief set for the 1993 MTV Unplugged in New York set.  His Under Pressure collaboration with glam-rock icon-band Queen supplied the deadly base line for the 1990 Vanilla Ice hit, Ice Ice Baby. 

He spent several years in Berlin, creating.  Hanging.  And befriending Mott The Hoople, Lou Reed and Iggy Pop.   He was relentless in his own re-invention. He was married for more than 20 years to supermodel, Iman.  In the 70's he succumbed to drug issues, mostly cocaine and in 1973, he suddenly announced his retirement - though it was the retirement of Ziggy Stardust, not of Mr. Bowie.  Whew!

It was the mythical album Ziggy Stardust, who made David into a major rock star.  It was also a blow to his head in the late 60's that caused David's left pupil to be permanently dilated.  

Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1996,  he did not attend the ceremony, asking Madonna to accept the award on his behalf.  She recounted the Bowie concert that she once went to that changed her life. David Byrne, who inducted Bowie said "Like all rock and roll, it was visionary, it was tasteless, it was glamorous, it was perverse, it was fun, it was crass, it was sexy and it was confusing".  

Byrne's correct and this is exactly what made The Thin White Duke the Thin White Duke.

Listen so some excellent remixes of Bowie's hits here https://soundcloud.com/djmarc7/sets/r-i-p-ziggy

Chris Hadfield performed Space Oddity on the International Space Station in 2013, said it best in a tweet last week, "Ashes to ashes,, dust to stardust, Your brilliance inspired us all.  Goodbye Starman."

Goodbye David.  The end. 

It's All About How You Play The Game

I'm proud of the role sport's plays in my life, and as I approach 50, so sports' role becomes increasingly important.  More importantly for me though is the spirit sport embodies. 

I'm at the gym 4 times a week.  Do I love working out?  Sometimes yes.  Mostly no.  In other words, I'm likely the average middle-aged (but in good-shape) garden-variety kind of guy.  I hustle to get to the gym, hustle while I work out (mostly classes) and then I shuffle to my car and then home.  It's my routine four times a week.

My favorite class is Fern's 8:30am spin class. I rarely oversleep, however today I did.  Jumped out of bed at 8:18am, threw on my ratty shorts and shirt, jumped in the car and was at the class at 8:34, (I even skipped my coffee-in-the-car ritual to make the class).

Alas, every bicycle was taken, (I was late ...DUH). I shrugged my shoulders and headed out the door thinking I would have been better off staying in bed a while longer. Fern noticed my shrugged shoulders, jumped off her bicycle and insisted I take hers.  Huh?

Figuring that I'd busted my derriere to get there, I took Fern's bicycle and enjoyed her awesome class.  Pretty normal!  But there's a few things on my mind

1.  Yeah, I made a lot of effort to get to the class --- Fern made way (an order of magnitude) more effort in surrendering her bicycle for my benefit.  I call it teamwork.

2.  In seconds, Fern turned my disappointment into happiness.  No words were spoken.  It's what good spirited sports people do.  This is what sport is about.

3.  At the classes' end, I could see Fern's happiness knowing she'd enabled me to participate.  Again - It's what good spirited sports people do.  This is what sport is about.

You know, every 2 years I watch the Olympic Games (summer and winter). 

Today's Games are more and more circus-like. They're not as much about sporting excellence or sportsmanship as much as they're about politics, money, religion and holly-wooding, and I can't help but think Olympians of old would be turning in their graves in disgust at the charade the games have become.

Make no error, Fern's spinning class is no Olympiad, (and I'm no Olympian either.  Just sayin').  By Fern having surrendered her bicycle is a huge deal. Again - It's what good spirited sports people do.  This is what sport is about.

And I can't help but think the Olympians of old are sagely smiling down on Fern today thanking her for respecting what sport is all about.  I just hope the Fern's of this world will be in Rio next year for the 2016 Summer Olympics. 

Fern - Thank You

It's All About The Service

Something’s on my mind that I need to talk about.

Without question the cab business as we know it, is under attack from companies like Uber and Lyft. It’s new versus old school, disruptors versus traditionalists – you get the picture.  Just read any newspaper or online forum and you’ll see the tremendous battle being waged globally (and in Toronto), daily.

So, you’d think, the cab business would spruce itself up, do something different or just simply provide a better service.  Not!

You see, I needed a cab this morning.  Called the local cab company.  Now I know that being a cab dispatcher may not be exactly the most stimulating job in the world, but at least fake a bit of interest in the caller’s needs.  Dispatcher seemed bored out of his mind, grunted hello, told me my address (guess it’s linked to my phone number), and before I could say something, he said the cab would be here in 5 minutes.  He hung up. Click.  Duration of call – 8 seconds.  Service zero.

Five minutes later, cab arrives.  I get in, say hi.  No response from the cabbie.  Not even an acknowledgement that I’m in his car.  Not even a grunt.

Six long-feeling minutes later, I’m at my destination.  Fare $8.00.  Tip $2.00. I thank him (I’m not sure why). Total paid $10.00.  I shut the door and I’m on my way.  Then it occurred to me that in the 6 minutes I was in the car, the cabbie did not say a single word.  Not a hello. Not a thanks.  And not a good-bye. Now maybe he was having a crappy day.  I get that.  We’re only human.  But then tell me. 

 

Or better yet, take the day off.

Am I missing something?

I speak to a lot of people who use Uber … they love it.  I hear Uber’s drivers seem genuinely happy.  They’re grateful to be doing what they’re doing. Cheaper fares to boot with a far nicer overall experience. 

I’m in the service business too.  There are thousands of John Sackes in my business.  There’s two on every corner.   Do I have a crappy day from time-to-time?  Of course yet.  That said, I try to make every client feel special.  I listen a lot. I smile a lot.  I engage a lot.  And most of all, I’m grateful that my clients have selected me --- unlike the cab dispatcher and cabbie who both were disinterested, disengaged and ungrateful that I had selected them.  Both were bordering on rude!

Seems like a no-brainer to me, but again, I may be missing something.  If I am, please let me know.  And if I’m not, please let me know too.