Now These Are People Making Massive Differences

I like to think that I’m making a difference in the world. Some days I think I do make a difference and other days? – well not so much. So, it’s natural that I admire anyone whom I think has made a difference, everyday.

You see, Hilton Kaplan’s like an everyday guy – who has accomplished great things. So has his partner, Daren Kwok. So his their son, Jacques Kaplan-Abrahams

Hilton and I met in high school in 1981 – we were in the same grade and had more than a few things in common. We both loved music and we both loved to party. We became good friends. After we graduated high school, I continued my studies in Johannesburg. Hilton went to medical school in Cape Town. Notwithstanding the 1,400 kilometres between us, our friendship endured. It even grew.

Hilton finished medical school and then went on to specialize in plastic surgery, working at Cape Town’s famous Groote Schuur Hospital. It was there that he met baby Jacques, four years old --- Jacques had been lying in his crib when embers from a nearby open hearth shot into his crib, causing third degree burns to 70 percent of his tiny body. Over the next 6 years, Hilton led the surgical team eight times to reconstruct Jacques’ severely disfigured face. Because the burns were so severe, Hilton also had to amputate one of Jacques’ arms and one of his legs, at the elbow and knee respectively.

Fast forward four more years – Hilton now lives in Los Angeles, running a successful firm (Dermogenesis) and he’s met his life partner, Daren. Hilton decides to renew contact with Jacques. Daren is supportive. Three arduous years later and after countless trips back to Cape Town – Hilton and Daren formally adopt Jacques as their own child. Jacques 14, had never left Cape Town, had never been to school, had been raised in an orphanage, had one leg and one arm and was illiterate.

Any sane people would have left Jacques (a liability for an intents and purposes) well alone. But not Hilton and Daren. They took him in. They fathered him. They taught him. They showed him love – and they got his love in return. They rehabilitated him, spending thousands of hours, not to mention dollars on bringing him up to speed on every facet of life.

I have visited with Hilton, Daren and Jacques. They live in Los Angeles and are soon relocating to New Jersey. They’re incredible. Their story is incredible. It’s like get-them-onto-Oprah-freaking-incredible.

What really is the impetus behind this posting is that just the other day, Hilton sent me pictures of Jacques’ high-school graduation. Jacques has graduated from high school now. He’s set to go to college this year. This from a once illiterate kid with half a leg and half an arm missing, with obvious facial disfiguration – who 15 years ago, did not stand a chance socially or academically - anywhere in the world. He could neither read nor write. He did not know how to use his brain




They’re beaming. Big. Now here’s people that matter and have made a difference. Not only to themselves, but to the world. They are walking examples that pretty much any difficulty can be overcome, or handicap dealt with.

And I have the gall to bitch and complain when my straight-A kids are a little obnoxious or turn in a B-plus grade on a Math test.

WOW!

A Meme on my Birthday

So yesterday, February 11, was my birthday --- hhmmm! There’s no question that for me, my birthday is sobering. I realize I am one year older, one year wiser, one more year set-more-in-my-ways, and yes, one year closer to my eventual demise.

I guess I’m doing lots right. I got more than 150 wishes from my family, friends, colleagues and clients who remembered to call, email or text me – I appreciate that. And I do love you all.

But, good or bad – on every birthday, I sit back with a glass of my favorite scotch (Lagavullin 16) and ponder a bit. And here’s some of what I pondered in a quiet moment yesterday …

1. The more love you make, the more love you’ll take – This is so true. I used to think that people were automatically loved – and that one got love simply as a result of who you were. Yeah, you can get a little love that way – but to really be loved, you have to make love. Not literally, but in everything you do. You have to create love. In what you do. In what you say. With the people you hang. Love does not just happen – you create it. And the more love you create, the more love you’ll end up with. Guaranteed. Create love by being spontaneous. Create love by seeing things from another person’s perspective. Create love from using your imagination by thinking in technicolor. It’s easier than you think

2. The “Oh Wow” factor. We’ve all got choices in life. You can live the mundane or you can live the extraordinary. If you choose, (like I have), to live the extraordinary, you’ll have lots of “Oh Wow” moments. Each of these moments is memorable. Live the mundane, and there really is nothing left to remember at the end of the day. Look no further than Steve Jobs, one of my icons. The last six words, this modern-day Edison ever said, moments before he left this world, were “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow,” Now there’s a guy that lived the extraordinary.

3. Be good – because it comes back to you, in spades. How often do you call a friend just because? How often do you help an old lady cross the street? How often do you drop a buck or two into a homeless person’s hat? Not often enough – for sure. Being good to others requires thought. It requires effort and it requires sacrifice – all of which us humans would rather not do. But showing kindness to a stranger is not only good for the stranger, it’s good for the world, and it’s good for you.

4. Manage your time. I was speaking to someone at synagogue on the weekend. He’s a smart, well-respected guy. I like his style. He says it like it is – outspoken. We were talking about the passage of time – and how it seems to be flying. His point? Don’t waste time doing things that don’t matter with people that don’t matter. In other words, make the most of every encounter because you never know if the encounter you’ve just had will be your last,

5. “Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.” Yeah, I know, this is the first line of Desiderata, written by Max Ehrmann in 1927 but it’s so applicable today almost 100 years later. As a marketing guy, I’m in the business of making noise, so you may think it’s sort of strange me talking about peace and silence. But it’s true. Make the right noise at the right time for the right reasons. Unfortunately, there are too many people making the wrong noise at the wrong time for the wrong reason (that is even if they have a reason at all.)

6. Let go. Part of the growing up process is about letting go. Letting go of your children as they get older and require you less and less. Letting go of your neuroses. Letting go of bad habits. And most importantly – letting go of those things that you cannot control. Letting go feels good. And it’s the right thing to do. In other words, don’t be a control freak. Sadly though, it seems that the older one get’s the more in control one wants to be. Not me.

There you go, your comments are welcome.

C’est moi!