Now These Are People Making Massive Differences

I like to think that I’m making a difference in the world. Some days I think I do make a difference and other days? – well not so much. So, it’s natural that I admire anyone whom I think has made a difference, everyday.

You see, Hilton Kaplan’s like an everyday guy – who has accomplished great things. So has his partner, Daren Kwok. So his their son, Jacques Kaplan-Abrahams

Hilton and I met in high school in 1981 – we were in the same grade and had more than a few things in common. We both loved music and we both loved to party. We became good friends. After we graduated high school, I continued my studies in Johannesburg. Hilton went to medical school in Cape Town. Notwithstanding the 1,400 kilometres between us, our friendship endured. It even grew.

Hilton finished medical school and then went on to specialize in plastic surgery, working at Cape Town’s famous Groote Schuur Hospital. It was there that he met baby Jacques, four years old --- Jacques had been lying in his crib when embers from a nearby open hearth shot into his crib, causing third degree burns to 70 percent of his tiny body. Over the next 6 years, Hilton led the surgical team eight times to reconstruct Jacques’ severely disfigured face. Because the burns were so severe, Hilton also had to amputate one of Jacques’ arms and one of his legs, at the elbow and knee respectively.

Fast forward four more years – Hilton now lives in Los Angeles, running a successful firm (Dermogenesis) and he’s met his life partner, Daren. Hilton decides to renew contact with Jacques. Daren is supportive. Three arduous years later and after countless trips back to Cape Town – Hilton and Daren formally adopt Jacques as their own child. Jacques 14, had never left Cape Town, had never been to school, had been raised in an orphanage, had one leg and one arm and was illiterate.

Any sane people would have left Jacques (a liability for an intents and purposes) well alone. But not Hilton and Daren. They took him in. They fathered him. They taught him. They showed him love – and they got his love in return. They rehabilitated him, spending thousands of hours, not to mention dollars on bringing him up to speed on every facet of life.

I have visited with Hilton, Daren and Jacques. They live in Los Angeles and are soon relocating to New Jersey. They’re incredible. Their story is incredible. It’s like get-them-onto-Oprah-freaking-incredible.

What really is the impetus behind this posting is that just the other day, Hilton sent me pictures of Jacques’ high-school graduation. Jacques has graduated from high school now. He’s set to go to college this year. This from a once illiterate kid with half a leg and half an arm missing, with obvious facial disfiguration – who 15 years ago, did not stand a chance socially or academically - anywhere in the world. He could neither read nor write. He did not know how to use his brain




They’re beaming. Big. Now here’s people that matter and have made a difference. Not only to themselves, but to the world. They are walking examples that pretty much any difficulty can be overcome, or handicap dealt with.

And I have the gall to bitch and complain when my straight-A kids are a little obnoxious or turn in a B-plus grade on a Math test.

WOW!

A Meme on my Birthday

So yesterday, February 11, was my birthday --- hhmmm! There’s no question that for me, my birthday is sobering. I realize I am one year older, one year wiser, one more year set-more-in-my-ways, and yes, one year closer to my eventual demise.

I guess I’m doing lots right. I got more than 150 wishes from my family, friends, colleagues and clients who remembered to call, email or text me – I appreciate that. And I do love you all.

But, good or bad – on every birthday, I sit back with a glass of my favorite scotch (Lagavullin 16) and ponder a bit. And here’s some of what I pondered in a quiet moment yesterday …

1. The more love you make, the more love you’ll take – This is so true. I used to think that people were automatically loved – and that one got love simply as a result of who you were. Yeah, you can get a little love that way – but to really be loved, you have to make love. Not literally, but in everything you do. You have to create love. In what you do. In what you say. With the people you hang. Love does not just happen – you create it. And the more love you create, the more love you’ll end up with. Guaranteed. Create love by being spontaneous. Create love by seeing things from another person’s perspective. Create love from using your imagination by thinking in technicolor. It’s easier than you think

2. The “Oh Wow” factor. We’ve all got choices in life. You can live the mundane or you can live the extraordinary. If you choose, (like I have), to live the extraordinary, you’ll have lots of “Oh Wow” moments. Each of these moments is memorable. Live the mundane, and there really is nothing left to remember at the end of the day. Look no further than Steve Jobs, one of my icons. The last six words, this modern-day Edison ever said, moments before he left this world, were “Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow,” Now there’s a guy that lived the extraordinary.

3. Be good – because it comes back to you, in spades. How often do you call a friend just because? How often do you help an old lady cross the street? How often do you drop a buck or two into a homeless person’s hat? Not often enough – for sure. Being good to others requires thought. It requires effort and it requires sacrifice – all of which us humans would rather not do. But showing kindness to a stranger is not only good for the stranger, it’s good for the world, and it’s good for you.

4. Manage your time. I was speaking to someone at synagogue on the weekend. He’s a smart, well-respected guy. I like his style. He says it like it is – outspoken. We were talking about the passage of time – and how it seems to be flying. His point? Don’t waste time doing things that don’t matter with people that don’t matter. In other words, make the most of every encounter because you never know if the encounter you’ve just had will be your last,

5. “Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.” Yeah, I know, this is the first line of Desiderata, written by Max Ehrmann in 1927 but it’s so applicable today almost 100 years later. As a marketing guy, I’m in the business of making noise, so you may think it’s sort of strange me talking about peace and silence. But it’s true. Make the right noise at the right time for the right reasons. Unfortunately, there are too many people making the wrong noise at the wrong time for the wrong reason (that is even if they have a reason at all.)

6. Let go. Part of the growing up process is about letting go. Letting go of your children as they get older and require you less and less. Letting go of your neuroses. Letting go of bad habits. And most importantly – letting go of those things that you cannot control. Letting go feels good. And it’s the right thing to do. In other words, don’t be a control freak. Sadly though, it seems that the older one get’s the more in control one wants to be. Not me.

There you go, your comments are welcome.

C’est moi!

Will I Catch Flack From This Blog Posting?

Disclosure: I do not work for Dr. Laffa, nor do I receive remuneration of any kind from them. I am a proud Jew and ardent supporter of Israel.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve caught a lot of flack from the global (and Toronto’s in particular) very vocal Jewish communities.

On November 10 last year, I slammed one kosher restaurant in particular and most kosher restaurants in general. And if that were not enough, just last week I slammed the Hareidim in Beit Shemesh for behaving like animals. Without going into the details, I caught flack – and lots of it. And you know what? I’m fine with catching flack --- it doesn’t matter. I call a spade a spade.

Now look at my post of November 14 last year. I’ve been back only once since then. I go back last night, am sitting at the counter eating bean soup and chowing down on a piping-hot Laffa. I’m minding my own business.

“Aren’t you the blog guy, who wrote about us”, the guy behind the grill asks me. “Yup, how the heck did you know?” Who’s the guy behind the grill? None other than the restaurant’s co-owner. And then the other guy behind the grill introduced himself to me. He’s the other co-owner. And so a short conversation ensued between the three of us. It was a simple one. They thanked me for coming back. They told me how hard they work and they told me how much fun they’re having. They then adjusted their cook’s hat and returned to work the grill. Period. Duration of conversation – 2 minutes

Now, there is a picture of me on my blog, I know that. I have been to Dr. Laffa once, just once, between November 14 and last night. They deal with hundreds of people a day - and before last night have never even said two words to the guys at the grill. So how did they know I was the blog guy? They just did! I still don’t know. Let’s just say their eyes are always wide open.

There’s many things I learned from this 2-minute encounter. Here’s just a few

1. Know your customers. Yeah, it’s all well and good to make a great laffa. And it’s all well and good to be able to write a great news release. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg. There’s a lot more to making money in a restaurant than standing behind the grill and flipping burgers. Take the time to really understand your customers – that way they will feel that they matter.

2. Love what you do. Whether you’re a street sweeper, a laffa guy or a surgeon, love what you do. I think the late Steve Jobs summed it up really well when he said “To be good at what you do, you got to first love what you do”. He’s right. Looking at the Laffa guys, it’s clear they love what they do. It shows in their attitude. It shows in their food too.

3. Be reasonable. Yeah, the guys at Dr. Laffa could raise their prices by a buck here and a buck there – their food and service is that good – but they are not. They’re keeping prices reasonable, filling their restaurant most nights and I hope are making a decent living.

4. Be humble. The guys could have told me how much money they’re making (as most entrepreneurs would have done, BS or not), how busy they are etc. etc. Nope, not these guys. They spent almost the entire two minutes we spent together telling me how they really focus on their customers – and I like that. Makes me feel good.

Oh, and if you ever go there, order a laffa. Slap these guys on the back and say hi. Shalom.

Can Anyone Answer This Question?

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a seasoned traveler. I have close to 2 million (actually 1,781,907 to be exact) Aeroplan miles on Air Canada and its partners right now. That’s a lot of flying – anyone would agree. Now granted, I don’t fly nearly as much as say a Peter Shankman, the founder of HARO (who logs about 400,000 miles a year), but my derriere has spent more than a few hours in planes.

As an aside, I love travelling, but hate flying – in other words, I love getting to my destination, but I hate getting there – but I digress.

The airline industry is a strange industry and its one where the best bed-fellows can make the fiercest of competitors. Co-opetition is the order of the day. You compete with your partners on one route and partner with your competitors on another. It is also strange that one can book on say United.com, fly on an Air Canada plane and check in at a Lufthansa desk. Sheesh --- and what happened if the airline (which one) lost my baggage? Do I call United? Air Canada? Lufthansa? Luckily that’s never happened to me – I’ll blog about if/ when it does though.

But, today I uncovered an even bigger mystery ---I’ll contact Air Canada later, but since I have tweeted this a few minutes ago (@aircanada), I’m hopeful that some astute social media type over there will respond and enlighten me.

I’m going to Denver in a few weeks --- and on Air Canada’s website, here’s the least expensive ticket I could find. Taxes, fees, charges and surcharges excluded, its $598.00. Calculating the distance between Toronto’s Pearson Airport and Denver’s Airport, (round trip) is 8440 km. Doing the division, it works out that I’ll be paying 7.085c per kilometer. Cheap or expensive? You be the judge!


So, in a moment-I-had-spare, I pretended just for a second that instead of going to Denver, I was going on Air Canada to Beijing at the exact same time. Here’s the least expensive ticket I was able to find on Air Canada’s website


Can anyone tell me what gives as to why flying to Denver is 134% more expensive as it is flying to Beijing. Dunno about you – but I’d far prefer Beijing to Denver, especially in the winter months – and to boot - it’s only $391.60 more expensive.

Anyone want to join me in Beijing? Just let me know. Who knows – if there’s enough of us, we may even get a bulk discount --- and if anyone can tell me Air Canada’s rationale behind this seemingly non-sensical pricing strategy --- well, I’ll send you to Denver – seems to be a more valuable ticket.

What happened in Israel --- A disgrace

For the record - I am proudly jewish, and very pro-Israel. Now that the formalities are out of the way, last week’s disgrace in Beit Shemesh in Israel has really made my blood boil.

You know how to get 3 opinions? Well, put 2 jews in a room. It’s only a joke – not a particularly funny one. It’s ironic and in many respects, (sadly) true. For a race as small in number as the jews, it’s tragic when jews riot, and throw stones at one another to prove a point .

The news from Beit Shemesh is pretty grim. From all the reports I’ve read, it seems some ultra-orthodox fanatics (called “Haredim” in Hebrew) spat on an eight year old modern orthodox girl, Naama Margolis because they deemed her dress to be inappropriate. It’s about as sad as the story that I read a few weeks ago, where the ultra-orthodox jewish man, asked a women to move to the back of the bus they were both riding as he was getting distracted --- and who knows, maybe even sexually aroused. Oh please … give me a break. This is 2012 now --- not the stone age. The women can sit where she wants on the bus, and you can too – and if you don’t like it buddy – get the hell off and take another bus.

Back to the spitting incident --- and if you get offended easily, you may want to stop reading this article now and write me a nasty comment … and I’m OK with that.

Question 1: Was the girl spat on
I’ve been in PR for many years, 16 to be precise and I know not to believe everything I see, read or hear. (There’s a concept of spin, you know). But when all reports I have read confirm the girl was spat on, I must believe it – after all, I have not read anything to the contrary. Spitting has no place in society today. It’s stone-age mentality, at least a millennium past its prime. Saying that spitting is disgusting would be paying this despicable act a compliment.

Question 2: If the girl was spat on, what gives the spitter the right to do something as lowly as that?
The million dollar question. Someone has no right to spit on another – and I don’t care what the circumstances are. It’s like the guy who only beats his wife only when he snorts a pound of coke and then gets a pardon from the law. Beating your wife is wrong, (no less wrong than a wife say, beating her husband) and so is spitting wrong. Period. Perhaps a better way was to chat to Naama’s parents --- better to attract bees with honey than vinegar, no? No report made mention of any goodwill among the different factions. Another point: I’m no Rabbi. Nor am I a Torah Scholar of much accomplishment. But, I have learned a thing or two from my esteemed Rabbi, (Rabbi Michalowicz of Westmount Community Shul) over the years.

First, as Jews, we must be accountable to our G_d and second, being the light unto nations, and with no less than 613 commandments, we must hold ourselves to a higher moral and ethical standard than the other nations.

Animals spit at one another. Jews? No! So-called “religious” jews? Certainly not

Does our G-d say that we should spit on others who irritate us, or even defy the law? I know not!

Does our God, say that we’ll be the light unto nations, by spitting on others who irritate us, or even defy the law? I know not!

This spitting incident only vilifies us, making us even more hated on the world’s stage. Haredim, what are you thinking??? There’s enough anti-semitism without you adding fuel to the fire.

Question 3: If the girl was spat on, and the spitter did have a right to spit on her, did she indeed deserve this
I think Naama’s mom summed it up well … “The exclusion of women from the public sphere makes my blood boil. They (haredim) are trying to take us back to dark eras; this is a grave injustice." And you know what? I agree. Make no mistake, I go to orthodox shul, (where the men and women sit separately) and for the most part follow orthodox doctrines, but the haredim have taken it way too far this time. No-one deserves to be spat on, least of all an eight year old girl. Shame on you haredim.

Want to know what you haredim should have done? Followed an example from Rabbi Finkel, Rosh Yeshiva of the great Mirrer Rosh Yeshiva:

A non-religious Israeli couple was married for 12 years and could not have children. They were distraught and decided to seek counsel from the renowned Rosh Yeshiva. It was a hot summer day and the couple knocked on the door. The woman was wearing her typical summer attire and was not modestly dressed.

Rebbetzin Finkel opened the door and greeted the couple. "How wonderful that you came to meet my husband!" Then she turned to the wife and warmly said, "You know, my husband is a great scholar – he learns all day. When I go in to speak with him, I wear a shawl out of respect. Why don't you come with me and see if I have one for you, too. I think I even have a perfect piece of jewelry to match. And we'll go in together to speak to him." They entered his study and told the rabbi why they had come. Rabbi Finkel had great difficulty talking due to the debilitating effects of Parkinson's. He mustered his strength and said to the woman, "You and I have a lot in common. We both know what suffering is." He began to sob, along with Rebbetzin Finkel. Then the couple started crying. Rabbi Finkel spoke with the couple for a while, offering words of comfort. He then took their names, and vowed to pray for them.

And you know what I’m doing now?? I’m praying that you haredim behave like humans and not like animals.

Peace.

PR Predictions For 2012

There’s no doubt that 2011 has been a good but difficult year for the PR industry. On the one hand, it’s harder than ever before to break through the clutter and on the other, when you do break through, you get your fleeting 15 minutes of fame. Blink – and the next wave of news comes down the pipe. But fear not – the coverage whether good or bad, lingers somewhere in the Internet’s archives seemingly for forever. Crazy. I know. But that’s reality.

So, what are my PR predictions for next year? Well … let’s see. And since Google will archive this forever, you can check back next December to see if I had any clue what I was talking about.

1. Time is going to move faster than it has ever moved before. By this I mean, clients and co-workers alike will expect things to be done literally even before they’ve asked for it. Ever been to a Saturday night dinner party or social gathering only to see people continually checking their mobile devices for emails and in the unlikely event there is one, they seem to feel compelled to respond to it within seconds. Now, don’t get me wrong, I get that business moves fast as a result of the global economy spanning every conceivable time zone, but it’s the weekend for G-d’s sake --- there really is no need to respond within seconds.

2. Being good at PR and being good at media relations are two different animals entirely. To be successful, today’s PR pro has to have a broad set of skills, extending far wider than writing a news release well or making some well customized pitches. That’s the easy stuff folks. It’s the basics. You need to understand social media. Your response times need to be faster than greased lightning. You need to be able to write perfectly, (yes, that means without typos) – as well as do the occasional bit of mind-reading.

3. Quality has not gone out of style yet. I am continually amazed by the sloppiness of writing today – and without profiling the younger generation, it would seem like with them, “good enough” is “good enough”. To that I say “good enough” is “bad enough.”

4. Content will continue winning the battle. In retail it’s still “Location, location, location. And in PR, it’s still “Content, content, content.” But not all content is meaningful at all. Wanna be well respected and gain followers? Then don’t tweet “Come in for a nice massage” when trying to promote your client’s wellness studio. Rather write a blog posting about the benefits of holistic massage.

5. Print publications, (especially newspapers) will continue their decline. And this really upsets me a lot. It’s no secret that pretty much every newspaper out there is shrinking as advertisers watch their ad spends more cautiously than ever before. You see, I grew up in the 70’s when the daily newspaper (and two TV channels) was the only gigs in town. I’ve two kids now (14 and 10) and I don’t think either has ever picked up a newspaper. They get everything online, including news that’s relevant to them.

6. The best lie is the truth – aka “Just be transparent”. Just look at the RIM PR nightmare this year surrounding their service outage. It took the bosses days to come out. And that cost them huge goodwill. How much better would have it been for them if they’d come out sooner, gave reality a harsh stare-down and said it like it is. Yup, I do agree that PR is about spin. Always was. Always will be. But transparency is what it’s about today – and social media and its far reaching immediacy help keep everyone honest.

Is this list exhaustive? Hell no! Add your predictions below. And if you think my predictions are a hunk ‘a junk, then tell me – just as long as you are transparent.

Happy new year

Time Management: Tell me if I am being a crusty curmudgeon

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am seldom, if ever, late. And in the unlikely event that I am late, I’ve called ahead to let them know. After all, my time is no more valuable than anyone else's. The kicker - no matter how rich or poor or important or not one is, time can never be replaced.

I see a dermatologist every six months or so. Her name Lori and she's pretty good. Not to worry, I don't have flesh-eating disease or something bad - but rather an irritating foot condition (my feet are permanently hot) which I like to get checked out. Yesterday was the third time in about 18 months I have seen said doctor.

I recall the first time she was running 20 minutes late, the second time, 30 minutes late. Yesterday I showed up for my 10am appointment at 9:56am and was attended to at 10:54am, a full 54 minutes late. To say I was pissed would have been putting it mildly. (I am not an angry person. Repeat, I am not an angry person). So while I sat waiting and stewing I reflected on the concept of time management and respecting others' time . It's hardly unusual for doctors to run a little late - no-one can predict when an emergency will come up. I get that. On the other hand, I was seeing a dermatologist - not a cardiologist and I would think that dermatologists seldom deal with last minute emergencies or life-and-death situations - but hey, what do I know?

So, while I stewed, I pondered:

1. When the doctor would finally see me, would she apologize for her lateness
2. The reason for her tardiness would be ... "you-fill-in-the blanks"
3. Should I express my anger at my time having essentially being wasted
4. Most importantly ... do I have a right even to be angry?

So 10:54, the doctor finally sees me --- and yes she did apologize for her profound lateness, saying it was a result of computer issues?? Hmm ... anyway, I told her I was pretty angry (my time is valuable too, right?) - and she apologized again. I gracefully accepted same. Moved on. Was examined in 90 seconds flat and then left the doctor's office. No problem. My feet are fine.

But this got me thinking as to the root of my anger ... it's not that the doctor was running late, but rather that I was not contacted about it.

Dunno 'bout you, but if I am running even 5 minutes late for a client, I call or email to let them know. It's common courtesy. No secret either that whether you’re a PR guy or a doctor, being courteous is good for business. My dermatologist is also in business (I presume) - so why would she feel exempted from this courtesy? There are other dermatologists around, no?

When I shared this with my good friend Ernie, his response was "Well buddy, that's why it's called a waiting room. Live with it." My wife believes it is incumbent on me, the patient, to have called in advance to understand the doctor's schedule and ask whether she would be running on time. I disagree.

Have I gotten over my anger? Hell Yeah! Life's too short. Way too short!

But I'd be interested in your opinions. Comment in the space below s'il vous plait. And please, don’t be afraid to tell me that I over-reacted for no good reason - or that I am a crusty curmudgeon. Promise I won't be mad.